Quotes - E (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 40

#1

“I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
― Mark Twain

tags: austen, criticism, reading, writing

1634 likes

#2

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain

1572 likes

#3

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
― Mark Twain

tags: anger

1316 likes

#4

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
― Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs, heaven

1259 likes

#5

“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor-children

1103 likes

#6

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
― Mark Twain

tags: laughter

1052 likes

#7

“Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

tags: censorship, fallibility, humor, sin

999 likes

#8

“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.”
― Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs, heaven, inspirational, man, religion

950 likes

#9

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
― Mark Twain

908 likes

#10

“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
― Mark Twain

tags: inspirational, positive, worries

985 likes

#11

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor

813 likes

#12

“Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
― Mark Twain

tags: cats

777 likes

#13

“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.”
― Mark Twain

tags: lies

697 likes

#14

“There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World

684 likes

#15

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook

tags: education

681 likes

#16

“All right, then, I'll go to hell.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

tags: hell, resignation

684 likes

#17

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
― Mark Twain

625 likes

#18

“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”
― Mark Twain

tags: actions, deeds

627 likes

#19

“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt”
― Mark Twain

tags: humorous

663 likes

#20

“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”
― Mark Twain

tags: misattributed-to-mark-twain, quote-investigator

814 likes

#21

“There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.”
― Mark Twain

574 likes

#22

“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.”
― Mark Twain

tags: enemy, friendship

586 likes

#23

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”
― Mark Twain

tags: blush, wordplay

486 likes

#24

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”
― Mark Twain

tags: animals, learn, like, people

567 likes

#25

“If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook

547 likes

#26

“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”
― Mark Twain

tags: lies

474 likes

#27

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”
― Mark Twain

507 likes

#28

“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”
― Mark Twain

465 likes

#29

“There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.”
― Mark Twain

tags: honesty

412 likes

#30

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, simile

412 likes

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