Andy > Andy's Quotes

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”
― Stephen King

“If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you.”
― Stephen King

“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”
― Stephen King, The Gunslinger

“I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I aim with my eye.

I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I shoot with my mind.

I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.
I kill with my heart.”
― Stephen King, The Gunslinger

“Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.”
― Neil Gaiman

“I am selfish, private and easily bored. Will this be a problem?”
― Neil Gaiman, A Study in Emerald

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”
― Stephen Colbert

“If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.”
― Stephen Colbert

“There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Equations are the devil's sentences.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.”
― Stephen Colbert

“You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.”
― Jon Stewart

“There's no such thing as soy milk. It's just soy juice.”
― Lewis Black