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Julia S > Julia's Quotes

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  • #1
    Woody Allen
    “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
    ― Woody Allen
    1701 likes

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  • #2
    Laurence J. Peter
    “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
    ― Laurence J. Peter
    tags: misattributed-einstein
    8440 likes

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  • #3
    Dr. Seuss
    “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
    tags: attributed-no-source, dreams, love, reality, sleep
    126806 likes

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  • #4
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148080 likes

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  • #5
    J.K. Rowling
    “If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
    tags: charles-bayard-mitchell
    101496 likes

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  • #6
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy
    81692 likes

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  • #7
    William Shakespeare
    “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
    ― William Shakespeare, As You Like It
    tags: wisdom
    45233 likes

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  • #8
    Bil Keane
    “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
    ― Bill Keane
    tags: attributed-no-source, hope, inspirational, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt, past, present, widely-misattributed
    42721 likes

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  • #9
    Thomas A. Edison
    “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
    ― Thomas A. Edison
    tags: edison, failure, inspirational, paraphrased
    42273 likes

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  • #10
    Eleanor Roosevelt
    “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt
    tags: attributed-no-source, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt
    40746 likes

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  • #11
    George R.R. Martin
    “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.”
    ― George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons
    tags: read, readers, reading, reading-books
    35575 likes

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  • #12
    J.K. Rowling
    “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
    tags: albus-dumbledore, courage, friends
    32134 likes

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  • #13
    Albert Einstein
    “If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, simplicity, understand
    31220 likes

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  • #14
    J.K. Rowling
    “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
    tags: death, dumbledore, harry, inspirational, philosophers-stone, ron, sorcerers-stone
    25344 likes

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  • #15
    Helen Keller
    “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
    ― Helen Keller
    22815 likes

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  • #16
    J.K. Rowling
    “Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
    tags: draco-malfoy, stupidity
    3212 likes

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  • #17
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake
    tags: insults, put-downs, stupidity
    365 likes

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  • #18
    R. Buckminster Fuller
    “Humans beings always do the most intelligent thing…after they’ve tried every stupid alternative and none of them have worked”
    ― Richard Buckminster Fuller
    tags: intelligence, mankind, stupidity
    245 likes

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  • #19
    Derek Landy
    “I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.”
    ― Derek Landy, Death Bringer
    tags: brick-wall, dumb-people, humor, humorous, insult, stupidity, vampire, vampire-boyfriend
    231 likes

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  • #20
    Jen Campbell
    “CUSTOMER: I don’t know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook.

    BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Shore Cookbook?”
    ― Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
    tags: cookbooks, humour, stupidity
    77 likes

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  • #21
    Irina Dunn
    “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”
    ― Irina Dunn
    tags: feminism, humour, misattributed-gloria-steinem
    3545 likes

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  • #22
    Oscar Wilde
    “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: beauty, humour
    3174 likes

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  • #23
    Stephen King
    “FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.”
    ― Stephen King, Doctor Sleep
    tags: humor, humour, stephen-king
    1167 likes

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  • #24
    Simone Elkeles
    “Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!”
    ― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction
    tags: humour
    863 likes

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  • #25
    Douglas Adams
    “We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: humour, life, science, technology
    891 likes

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  • #26
    George Orwell
    “On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.”
    ― George Orwell, All Art is Propaganda: Critical Essays
    tags: goodness, human-nature, humour, philosophy
    794 likes

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  • #27
    George Carlin
    “When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: babies, humour
    753 likes

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  • #28
    J.K. Rowling
    “Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?”
    ― J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
    tags: humour, ron-weasley
    484 likes

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  • #29
    Tamora Pierce
    “Why do boys say someone acts like a girl as if it were an insult?”
    ― Tamora Pierce, In the Hand of the Goddess
    tags: humour, stereotypes
    497 likes

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  • #30
    William Shakespeare
    “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind. Nor hath love's mind of any judgment taste; Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste: And therefore is love said to be a child, Because in choice he is so oft beguil'd.”
    ― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
    tags: love
    24143 likes



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misattributed-einstein
attributed-no-source
dreams
love
reality
sleep
human-nature
humor
infinity
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universe
charles-bayard-mitchell
enemies
forgiveness
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inspirational
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past
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edison
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