Jackk Webster > Jackk's Quotes

“I just realized my lips are inside out. They should be turned inwards, because I spend most of my time talking to myself.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Love has a shape, but no color. You’re probably wondering, “If it’s transparent, how do you know what shape it is?” Good question. Well, for one thing, I put it together, and for another, I’m currently wearing it like body armor (though to the casual observer, I appear naked).”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you meant to me.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle.”
― Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“When your action is gone, and all that’s left is motionlessness, I’ll be there, whistling.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“If I knew what you’d do, exactly when you knew what you’d do, then I’d either be you or I’d be God. And we both know I’m not you.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I’m putting the word “Don’t” on my To Do list.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I’m older now than my dad was when he was my age. Wait, that’s not right. That’s not my dad at all, that’s just some stranger hanging around in my memory.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Is a picture really worth a thousand words? What thousand words? A thousand words from a lunatic, or a thousand words from Nietzsche? Actually, Nietzsche was a lunatic, but you see my point. What about a thousand words from a rambler vs. 500 words from Mark Twain? He could say the same thing quicker and with more force than almost any other writer. One thousand words from Ginsberg are not even worth one from Wilde. It’s wild to declare the equivalency of any picture with any army of 1,000 words. Words from a writer like Wordsworth make you appreciate what words are worth.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“We talked for four hours. Well, I talked for four, and she listened for two.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“If I had a necklace made out of tiny suns, I’d only wear it at night when you could really see it. Sadly, I don’t have a necklace like that. The closest thing I have is a necklace made out of those glow in the dark stars you stick to bedroom ceilings. But I only wear that on special occasions, like bedtime. 
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“If I can’t see the bottom, I don’t know how much is left. Why does my love have to be so thick? I suppose because it keeps the engine of your heart running smooth.
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of taking away your freedoms. –Uncle Sam
”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“If I can delay your action with my inaction, then I’ll gladly do nothing for the good of the no good.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“When a whisper seems like a shout, I know I need to get some sleep. But I can’t lay down without first taking off my bunny ears.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Love should be unconditional, while hair should be conditioned. Air should also be conditioned, and worn in place of hairnets.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I have a bedroom rug that I feed. It’s not very flat, and it meows when I step on it.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Nobody can stop me. But only because I haven’t started yet.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“In the Tunnel of Desire, past the Tube of Destiny, lies the Turtle of Doubt. We all have to face that turtle, but only the confident ones ever find out that doubt tastes like chicken.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“If somebody offered me Cyanide, my only question would be, Is it organic? Because organic is always the healthier option.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I’d rather fall in molten lava than fall in love. But I suppose that’s just the romantic me.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“All books are coloring books, if you are in possession of a childlike imagination, and a box of markers.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“I like how cats’ ears can flip inside out. It’s as if they’re saying, Keep talking, human, but I’m not even listening.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“If I told you that my global audience has shot up 100% in the last six months, what would you say? If you were to say, “So you went from one reader to two readers?” you’d be absolutely correct. And after I had congratulated you on your keen guess, I’d thank you for being 50% of my reading base.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Instead of hatching a plan, why not break it open prematurely and use it to make an omelet? It’s just food for thought. Actually, it’s thought for food.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“Nobody can make you feel ignorant but you—the you from before, the one who skipped school and slept in class. By you, of course, I mean me.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks