n.n > n.n's Quotes

“THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“It's beautiful," said Mort softly. "What is it?"

THE SUN IS UNDER THE DISC, said Death.

"Is it like this every night?"

EVERY NIGHT, said Death. NATURE'S LIKE THAT.

"Doesn't anyone know?"

ME. YOU. THE GODS. GOOD, ISN'T IT?

"Gosh!"

Death leaned over the saddle and looked down at the kingdoms of the world.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, he said, BUT I COULD MURDER A CURRY.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ.

—Death”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“How do you get all those coins?" asked Mort.
IN PAIRS.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Well,----me,” he said. “A----ing wizard. I hate----ing wizards!” “You shouldn’t----them, then,” muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“I THINK... I THINK I COULD BE FRIENDS WITH THE GREEN BOTTLE.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“EMOTIONS GET LEFT BEHIND, IT'S ALL A MATTER OF GLANDS.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“YOU FEAR TO DIE?
"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break...”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Picture a tall, dark figure, surrounded by cornfields...
NO, YOU CAN'T RIDE A CAT. WHO EVER HEARD OF THE DEATH OF RATS RIDING A CAT? THE DEATH OF RATS WOULD RIDE SOME KIND OF DOG.
Picture more fields, a great horizon-spanning network of fields, rolling in gentle waves...
DON'T ASK ME I DON'T KNOW. SOME KIND OF TERRIER, MAYBE.
...fields of corn, alive, whispering in the breeze...
RIGHT, AND THE DEATH OF FLEAS CAN RIDE IT TOO. THAT WAY YOU KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.
...awaiting the clockwork of the seasons.
METAPHORICALLY.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“I REMEMBER WHEN ALL THIS WILL BE AGAIN.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“That's not fair, you know. If we knew when we were going to die, people would lead better lives."

IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIVE AT ALL.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“I'VE NEVER BEEN VERY SURE ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT, said Bill Door. I AM NOT SURE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS RIGHT. OR WRONG. JUST PLACES TO STAND.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn’t happen to you every year.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Inside Every Living Person is a Dead Person Waiting to Get Out…”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“...this is the room where the future pours into the past via the pinch of now.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“Why does everyone run toward a blood-curdling scream?" mumbled the Senior Wrangler. "It's contrary to all sense.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“no one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away—until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“I DON’T WANT TO GO.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

“The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

“Walter Plinge said: "You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer!"
"Oh, yes," said Nanny. "About houses on fire, I expect..."
"Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire!"
"I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum," said Nanny.
"No! My mum would take herself!"
"What would you take out then, Walter?" Nanny said.
"The fire!”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Pamela, I’m in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up! Lemme tell you. Let me. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me - and the way you are with me - and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m going to live a thousand years cause that’s how long it’s gonna take me to have one thought about you which is that I’m crazy about you, Pamela. I don’t wanna be with anybody else. I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream. You were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you, Pamela. It’s like a condition. It’s like polio. I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you. And I can’t be with you. So I’m gonna die - and I don’t care cause I was brought into existence to know you and that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back it’s like greedy.”
― Louis C.K.

“Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.”
― Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

“This is Morbidia," said Vlad. "Although she's been calling herself Tracy lately, to be cool.”
― Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

“Carpe Jugulum," read Agnes aloud. "That's... well, Carpe Diem is 'Sieze the Day,' so this means-"
"Go for the throat”
― Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

“Supposing there was justice for all, after all? For every unheeded beggar, every harsh word, every neglected duty, every slight... every choice... Because that was the point, wasn't it? You had to choose. You might be right, you might be wrong, but you had to choose, knowing that the rightness or wrongness might never be clear or even that you were deciding between two sorts of wrong, that there was no right anywhere. And always, always, you did it by yourself. You were the one there, on the edge, watching and listening. Never any tears, never any apology, never any regrets... You saved all that up in a way that could be used when needed.”
― Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

“As the eye of narrative drew back from the coffin on its stand, two things happened. One happened comparatively slowly, and this was Vargo's realisation that he never recalled the coffin having a pillow before.
The other was Greebo deciding that he was as mad as hell and wasn't going to take it any more.”
― Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum