Mitja > Mitja's Quotes

“Studies show that when people are going through a difficult experience, asking them to imagine how they’ll feel about it ten years from now, rather than tomorrow, can be another remarkably effective way of putting their experience in perspective. Doing so leads people to understand that their experiences are temporary, which provides them with hope.”
― Ethan Kross, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

“Learn to differentiate between the sound of your intuition guiding you and your traumas misleading you.”
― Laurence Heller, The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma: Using the NeuroAffective Relational Model to Address Adverse Childhood Experiences and Resolve Complex Trauma

“Life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be.”
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

“Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not “yours,” not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you.”
― Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

“Can you look without the voice in your head commenting, drawing conclusions, comparing, or trying to figure something out?”
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

“Doing things for the outcome rather than for the joy of the process disconnects you from yourself. You start chasing. You get desperate. You forget your “why.” But most importantly, you don’t allow yourself to be happy until you get what you want. And if that never comes, you never practice being happy.”
― John Kim, Single On Purpose: Prioritizing Self-Love and Personal Growth in Your Journey Through Life, Dating, and Relationships

“Trust me when I say that I will love you in your humanness. I will love you for your twists, I will love you for your faults. Trust me when I say that I will love it all.”
― Bianca Sparacino, Seeds Planted in Concrete

“The days of me getting excited about someone who’s not excited about me are over. I can’t find the energy to get excited about someone who doesn’t want me. If someone doesn’t want me, it kills it for me, because I know this person will make me so unhappy.”
― Matthew Hussey, Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily

“And instead of needing to be in control, I learned to trust that someone could lead me without taking advantage of me.”
― Vienna Pharaon, The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love

“The inability to say no is largely about approval-seeking—people imagine that if they say no, they won’t be loved by others. The inability to say yes, however—to intimacy, a job opportunity, an alcohol program—is more about lack of trust in oneself. Will I mess this up? Will this turn out badly? Isn’t it safer to stay where I am?”
― Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

“For all that has been: Thanks. For all that shall be: Yes.”
― David Richo, When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships

“The less you need someone's approval, the more you are able to love them.”
― Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

“Are you happy?” “In all honesty? No. But I am curious – I am curious in my sadness, and I am curious in my joy. I am everseeking, everfeeling. I am in awe of the beautiful moments life gives us, and I am in awe of the difficult ones. I am transfixed by grief, by growth. It is all so stunning, so rich, and I will never convince myself that I cannot be somber, cannot be hurt, cannot be overjoyed. I want to feel it all – I don’t want to cover it up or numb it. So no, I am not happy. I am open, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
― Bianca Sparacino, Seeds Planted in Concrete

“If you have an anxious attachment style, you tend to get attached very quickly, even just on the basis of physical attraction. One night of sex or even just a passionate kiss and, boom, you already can't get that person out of your mind. As you know, once your attachment system is activated, you begin to crave the other person's closeness and will do anything in your power to make it work even before you really get to know him/her and decide whether you like that person or not!”
― Amir Levine, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

“When a problem is disturbing you, don't ask, "What should I do about it?" Ask, "What part of me is being disturbed by this?”
― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

“The moment that judgement stops through acceptance of what it is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.”
― Eckhart Tolle, Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from the Power of Now

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind - you are the one who hears it.”
― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

“Sometimes we put more value in predicting and controlling than in having peace of mind.”
― Gerald Jampolsky, Love Is Letting Go of Fear

“Instead, love them without attachment. Love the lessons they taught you. Wish them well every single time you think about them. Miss them, but do not ache for them to come back. If the people in your life left because they were not ready to value you, or love you, or be there for you, do not wish for them back, do not ask for them to be more than they can be at the moment. Wish for them to figure themselves out. Wish for them to grow. They are on their own journey — a journey you are not a part of. And that is okay. You have to learn that that is okay.”
― Bianca Sparacino, A Gentle Reminder

“How many times has your imagination disturbed a perfectly peaceful moment? How many times have your cravings blocked you from fully enjoying the abundance in front of you?”
― Yung Pueblo, Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future

“If I appeal to you for emotional connection and you respond intellectually to a problem, rather than directly to me, on an attachment level I will experience that as “no response.” This is one of the reasons that the research on social support uniformly states that people want “indirect” support, that is, emotional confirmation and caring from their partners, rather than advice.”
― Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships

“We often believe that the fears of the past can successfully predict the fears of the future.”
― Gerald Jampolsky, Love Is Letting Go of Fear

“Attention is not intention.”
― Matthew Hussey, Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily

“What we do not change, we choose.”
― David Richo, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

“The right relationship is one where things get better when you communicate. If your relationship gets worse when one of you speaks the truth, you’re in the wrong relationship.”
― Matthew Hussey, Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
― Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

“It’s not whether you “feel” like putting in the work, but whether or not you do it regardless.”
― Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery

“Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.”
― David Richo, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

“You have to remember that your feelings, while valid, are not often real. They are not always accurate reflections of reality. They are, however, always accurate reflections of our thoughts.”
― Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery

“A therapist once said to me, “If you face the choice between feeling guilt and resentment, choose the guilt every time.” It is wisdom I have passed on to many others since. If a refusal saddles you with guilt, while consent leaves resentment in its wake, opt for the guilt. Resentment is soul suicide. Negative thinking allows us to gaze unflinchingly on our own behalf at what does not work.

We have seen in study after study that compulsive positive thinkers are more likely to develop disease and less likely to survive. Genuine positive thinking — or, more deeply, positive being — empowers us to know that we have nothing to fear from truth. “Health is not just a matter of thinking happy thoughts,” writes the molecular researcher Candace Pert. “Sometimes the biggest impetus to healing can come from jump-starting the immune system with a burst of long-suppressed anger.” Anger, or the healthy experience of it, is one of the seven A’s of healing. Each of the seven A’s addresses one of the embedded visceral beliefs that predispose to illness and undermine healing.”
― Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress