Shelby Crouch > Shelby's Quotes

“Well, when I was five, I wanted my mother to let me go around and around inside a dryer with the clothes,” Clary said. “The difference is, she didn’t let me.”
“Probably because going around and around in a dryer can be fatal,” Jace pointed out, “whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“She took out a shiny folded pamphlet, the kind they kept stacked in clear plastic stands in hospital waiting rooms. "How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“I think she just asked if she could touch my mango.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

“Clary wasn't sure what she'd expected -exclamations of delight, perhaps a smattering of applause. Instead there was silence, broken only when Jace said, "Somehow, I thought it would be bigger."
Clary looked at the Cup in her hand. It was the size, perhaps, of an ordinary wineglass, only much heavier. Power thrummed through it, like blood through living veins. "It's a perfectly nice size," she said indignantly.
"Oh, it's big enough," he said patronizingly, "but somehow I was expecting something… you know." He gestured with his hands, indicating something roughly the size of a house cat.
"It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl," said Isabelle.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.
On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?"
Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful."
"Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

“I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was coming?"

"I know who you are, but..." Maia looked dazed. "You look so...so...shiny.”
― Cassandra Clare

“But the name Magnus Bane made him think of a towering sort of figure, with huge shoulders and formal purple warlock’s robes, calling down fire and lightning. Not Magnus himself, who was more of a cross between a panther and a demented elf.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“The first morning Simon had been at Amatis's house, a grinning lycanthrope had showed up on the doorstep with a live cat for him.
"Blood," he'd said, in a heavily accented voice. "For you. Fresh!"
Simon had thanked the werewolf, waited from him to leave, and let the cat go, his expression faintly green.
"We'll you're going to have to get your blood from somewhere," said Luke, looking amused.
"I have a pet cat," Simon replied. "There's no way.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“What's that you're holding?" he asked, noticing the pamphlet, still rolled up in her left hand.

"Oh, this?" She held it up. "How to Come Out to Your Parents."

He widened his eyes. "Something you want to tell me?"

"It's not for me. It's for you." She handed it to him.

"I don't have to come out to my mother," said Simon. "She already thinks I'm gay because I'm not interested in sports and I haven't had a serious girlfriend yet. Not that she knows of, anyway."

"But you have to come out as a vampire," Clary pointed out. "Luke thought you could, you know, use one of the suggested speeches in the pamphlet, except use the word 'undead' instead of--"

"I get it, I get it." Simon spread the pamplet open. "Here, I'll practice on you." He cleared his throat. "Mom. I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that the undead are just like you and me." Simon paused. "Well, okay. Possibly more like me than you."

"SIMON."

"All right, all right." He went on. "The first thing you need to understand is that I'm the same person I always was. Being undead isn't the most important thing about me. It's just part of who I am. The second thing you should know is that it isn't a choice. I was born this way." Simon squinted at her over the pamphlet. "Sorry, reborn this way.”
― Cassandra Clare

“It's a girl," Jace said, recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“Lightwoods,” Magnus said. “They always have to have the last word.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“WHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon."
"You noticed," said Simon.
"I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus.
"Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

“Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever"
"Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can".
Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working.”
― Cassandra Clare

“Chairmen Meow deserves me every effort.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“I'm Magnus Bane." he went on in a soothing tone, stretching out his ringed hands. Blue sparks had begun to dance between them like bioluminescence dancing water. "I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was comming?"
"I know who you are, but..." Maia looked dazed. "You look so... so... shiny.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Isabelle waved a hand. "No need to worry, big brother. Nothing happened. Of course," she added as Alex's shoulders relaxed, "I was totally passed-out drunk, so he could really have done whatever he wanted and I wouldn't have woken up."
"Oh, please," said Simon. "All I did was tell you the entire plot of Star Wars."
"I don't think I remember that," said Isabelle, taking a cookie from the plate on the table.
"Oh, yeah? Who was Luke Skywalker's best childhood friend?"
"Biggs Darklighter," Isabelle said immediately, and then hit the table with the flat of her hand."That is so cheating!”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

“But Clary never found out what it wasn't, because there was a cry of "Jace!" and Alec appeared, breathless from pushing his way through the crowd to get them. His dark hair was a mess and there was blood on his clothes, but his eyes were bright with a mixture of relief and anger. He grabbed Jace by the front of his jacket. "What happened to you?"
Jace looked affronted. "What happened to me?"
Alec looked at him, not lightly. "You said you were going for a walk! What kind of walk takes six hours?"
"A long one?" Jace suggested.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“You look happy," he said to Clary. He swiveled his gaze to Jace. "And a good thing for you that she does."
Jace raised an eyebrow. "Is this the part where you tell me that if I hurt her, you'll kill me?"
"No," said Simon, "If you hurt Clary, she's quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons."
Jace looked pleased by the thought.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace”
― Cassandra Clare

“He slid his stele across the table toward her. "Use it." "No," Clary said, and pushed the stele back across the table at him. Jace slammed his hand down on the stele. "Clary-" "She said she doesn't want it," said Simon. "Ha-ha." "Ha-ha?" Jace looked incredulous. "THAT'S your comeback?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Samuel! Are you alright?" A vision of Samuel being brained by the falling bars rose up before Simon's eyes.
Samuel's voice rose to a scream. "GO AWAY!"
Simon looked sideways at Jace. "I think he means it."
Jace shook his blond head in exasperation. "You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn't you? You couldn't just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“Simon!" The voice was faint, but his hearing caught it over the pop and crackle of glowing flames. The smoke in the corridor had presaged heat; the heat was here now, pressing against him like an oppressive wall. "Simon!"
The voice was Clary's. He would know it anywhere. He wondered if his mind was conjuring it up now, a sense of memory of what he'd most loved during life to carry him throught the process of death.
"Simon, you stupid idiot! I'm over here! At the window!"
Simon jumped to his feet. he doubted his mind would conjure that up.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“We had and incident. I took care of it."
"Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know how to use that knife, Clarissa? Without poking a hole in yourself or any innocent bystanders?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“There is one bright side to this," said Fang.
Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us?
He grinned at me so unexpectedly I forgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet. "You looove me," he crooned smugly. Holding his arms out wide he added, "You love me this much."
My shriek of appalled rage could probably be heard in California, or maybe Hawaii.”
― James Patterson, Max

“I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!"-Gazzy”
― James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

“You are avake, yah?" said a voice in a horribly recognizable accent.
"Yah," I muttered, rubbing my head. "And you are still a jerk, yah?”
― James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

“You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”
― James Patterson

“Fang, fang. I love you. I looooove you. I love you thiiiiiiiiiis much!”
― James Patterson

“Man, you weigh a freaking ton," he told me. "What've you been eating, rocks?"
"Why, is your head missing some?" I croaked. His mouth almost quirked in a smile, and that's when I knew how upset he'd been”
― James Patterson, The Angel Experiment