Alyssa > Alyssa's Quotes

“You must have your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“WARNING:
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE!”
― Pseudonymous Bosch , The Name of This Book Is Secret

“...books were better than travel.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Q: Why do you like chocolate so much?

A: The answer, clearly, is because I've tasted chocolate.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch

“Who needs to go somewhere when you can read about it.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Why did so many grown-ups want to be young, she wondered, when it took so long to grow old? It was like going on a million-mile road trip then wanting to turn around without getting out of the car.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Not all novelists are power-hungry madman. Some are power-hungry madwomen.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“The first expert said he had attention deficit disorder. The second expert said the first was out of order. One said he was autistic, another that he was artistic. One said he had Tourette's syndrome. One said he had Asperger's syndrome. And one said the problem was that his parents had Munchausen syndrome. Still another said all he needed was a good old-fashioned spanking.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Veronica ran out to tell Amber the shocking news - and returned in less than a minute with another message for Yo-Yoji: "Amber says she was watching and she knows you got in detention on purpose," she said breathlessly. "Because you have a crush on Cass!"
Cass's ears instantly turned red.
Max-Ernest looked like he'd been hit by a truck.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late

“Before we do, I suggest you take a break. If you need to go to the bathroom, this is a good time. If you're sleepy, go to bed and save the next chapter for tomorrow. For the magician's story, you must have all your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Better to cry wolf over and over than never to cry wolf at all.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Death is like an old dog. He always knows when you are at his door.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, This Book Is Not Good for You

“One dictionary defines denouement as "a final part in which everything is made clear and no questions or surprises remain." By that definition, it is exactly the wrong word to describe this chapter. This chapter will make nothing clear; it will raise many questions; and it may even contain a surprise or two. But I say we call it the denouement anyway because the words sounds so sophisticated and French.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“I ate him," said the homunculus, biting into his sausage.
The kids couldn't hide their looks of horror.
He smiled, sausage juice running down his chin. "Oh, don't worry - I cooked him first. I'm not a barbarian.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late

“*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine," but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text." Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Very little in this world makes sense.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late

“Please be SILENT and LISTEN.
I am the SCHOOLMASTER
and you are in the CLASSROOM.
Just like ELEVEN PLUS TWO equals
TWELVE PLUS ONE,
And even a FUNERAL can be REAL FUN,
You will find my DICTIONARY
is quite INDICATORY.
If you want to read my story, just look...
THEN UNREAD.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“But remember what I said about forgetting what I said?”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Only bad books have good endings.
If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad - because you don't want the book to end.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“This book will not harm you unless someone throws it at you which is a possibilty never to be discounted.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Being an author, is being a dictator. (in a good way)”
― Pseudonymous Bosch

“Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

“Cassandra, when you want to speak to me, you should say 'Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.' Then wait until you get my attention."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. Do I have your attention now?”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret