K 1 > K's Quotes

“I love you just the way you are
but you don't see you like I do.
You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect.
Trust me, perfect should try to be you.”
― Bo Burnham, Egghead; or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone

“You argue and you bicker and you fight...Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night...over what they think is true...but no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.”
― Bo Burnham

“Maybe life on earth could be heaven”
― Bo Burnham, Eighth Grade

“Hanged"
I hung myself today. Hanged? Whatever,
the point is I hanged myself today and I’m still
hanging.

I feel fine. Just bored. I keep hoping that
someone will come home and cut me down
but then I keep remembering that if I knew
someone like that I wouldn’t be up here. Bit
ironic, right? Or is that not ironic? I read
somewhere that, like, anything funny is,
in some way, ironic. But I don’t know if it's
funny or not. I don’t think my brain owns
“funny”, you know?

I feel taller. I like that.
I’ve never been away from my shadow for
this long. It had always clung to my feet,
parting momentarily for a quick dive into
the swimming pool. But never for five
hours. I like it. There’s three feet of space
between my two and the floor.

I wanted something this morning. I may be
stuck. But at least I’m three feet closer to it.”
― Bo Burnham, Egghead; or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
― Albert Einstein

“Never memorize something that you can look up.”
― Albert Einstein

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
― Albert Einstein

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
― Albert Einstein

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
― Albert Einstein

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”
― Albert Einstein

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
― Albert Einstein

“You never fail until you stop trying.”
― Albert Einstein

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
― Albert Einstein

“It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”
― Albert Einstein

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
― Albert Einstein

“Well, man, you know what they say."
No, I don't. I don't know what they say.
I don't even know who they are.
Who is this they?
They seem pretty smug.
They seem to think they know shit.
Fuck them.”
― Bo Burnham, Egghead; or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone

“Our father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
hollow be thy promises
and shallow be thy shame.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
On a scale from on to ten,
our Lord is totally eleven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
toasted close to dawn,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we shoot those who trespass on our lawn,
and lead us not into temptation,
such as pot or porno,
but deliver us from evil
(if not delivery, then DiGiorno).”
― Bo Burnham, Egghead; or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone

“Read this to yourself. Read it silently.
Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound.
Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.
What a wonderfully weird thing, huh?

NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD!
SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND!
DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.
Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper.

Now, read this next line in your best crotchety-
old man voice:
"Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?"
Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that?
It sure wasn't yours!

How do you do that?
How?!
It must've been magic.”
― Bo Burnham, Egghead; or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone

“What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.”
― Bo Burnham

“I'll do that tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and it's still today. Tomorrow is a relative term.

Makes Annie a lot more depressing”
― Bo Burnham

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
― Albert Einstein

“Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not. ”
― Pablo Picasso, Pablo Picasso: Metamorphoses of the Human Form : Graphic Works, 1895-1972

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”
― Pablo Picasso

“When I was a child my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk, you'll be the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”
― Pablo Picasso

“I do not seek. I find.”
― Pablo Picasso

“I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.”
― Pablo Picasso

“In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance... Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself.”
― Marjane Satrapi, Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood

“One can forgive but one should never forget.”
― Marjane Satrapi, Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood

“If you always say no, you'll never say yes.”
― Ryan Higa

“If your life has no problems, you're not really living it.”
― Ryan Higa