Patsi > Patsi's Quotes

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt

“I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”
― Greg Behrendt

“Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”
― Greg Behrendt

“Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“Alone also means available for someone outstanding.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“If the guy you’re dating doesn’t seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start ‘figuring him out,’ please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find someone that is.”
― Greg Behrendt

“Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.) ”
― Greg Behrendt

“A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.”
― Greg Behrendt

“He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“You already have one asshole, you don't need another one”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“Always be classy. Never be crazy.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the
one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.”
― Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation”
― Greg Behrendt

“Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“big plans require big action”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.”
― Greg Behrendt

“Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.”
― greg behrendt

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
― George Carlin

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
― George Carlin

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
― George Carlin

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
― George Carlin

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin

“I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”
― George Carlin