Alina > Alina's Quotes

“Having a secret is isolating.” Try, as much as possible, not to hide your flaws or perceived differences.”
― Jeffrey E. Young, Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthough Program to End Negative Behavior...and Feel Great Again

“Awareness requires living in the here and now, and not in the elsewhere, the past or the future.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“Pastimes and games are substitutes for the real living of real intimacy.”
― Eric Berne, Games people play: The psychology of human relationships

“The solitary individual can structure time in two ways: activity and fantasy.”
― Eric Berne, Games people play: The psychology of human relationships

“Such a woman is called "Mother's FRIEND" always ready to give judicious Parental advice and living vicariously on the experience of others”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“For certain fortunate people there is something which transcends all classifications of behaviour, and that is awareness; something which rises above the programming of the past, and that is spontaneity; and something that is more rewarding than games, and that is intimacy.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“we shared a common interest in how the past effects people—some let it decide who they are, while others make it part of what they will do.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“To hurry is to neglect that environment and to be conscious only of something that is still out of sight down the road, or of mere obstacles, or solely of oneself.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“It is not difficult to deduce from an individual’s position the kind of childhood he must have had. Unless something or somebody intervenes, he spends the rest of his life stabilizing his position and dealing with situations that threaten it: by avoiding them, warding off certain elements or manipulating them provocatively so that they are transformed from threats into justifications.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“Parents, deliberately or unaware, teach their children from birth how to behave, drink, feel and perceive. Liberation from these influences is no easy matter.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours.”
― Eric Berne, Games people play: The psychology of human relationships

“If someone frankly asks for reassurance and gets it, that is an operation. If someone asks for reassurance, and after it is given turns it in some way to the disadvantage of the giver, that is a game.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“As this is written, a sow bug crawls across a desk. If he is turned over on his back, one can observe the tremendous struggle he goes through to get on his feet again. During this interval he has a ‘purpose’ in his life. When he succeeds, one can almost see the look of victory on his face. Off he goes, and one can imagine him telling his tale at the next meeting of sow bugs, looked up to by the younger generation as an insect who has made it. And”
― Eric Berne, Games people play: The psychology of human relationships

“Despair is a concern of the Adult, while in depression it is the Child who has the executive power. Hopefulness, enthusiasm or a lively interest in one's surroundings is the opposite of depression; laughter is the opposite of despair.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“Spontaneity means option, the freedom to choose and express one's feelings from the assortment available.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“There is no hope for the human race, but there is hope for individual members of it.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“At the end of the party, each person will have selected certain players he would like to see more of, while others he will discard, regardless of how skillfully or pleasantly they each engaged in the pastime. The ones he selects are those who seem the most likely candidates for more complex relationships—that is, games. This sorting system, however well rationalized, is actually largely unconscious and intuitive.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“the past effects people—some let it decide who they are, while others make it part of what they will do.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“The essential and similar feature of both procedures and rituals is that they are stereotyped. Once the first transaction has been initiated, the whole series is predictable and follows a predetermined course to a foreordained conclusion unless special conditions arise.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“Individuals who are not comfortable or adept with rituals sometimes evade them by substituting procedures. They can be found, for example, among people who like to help the hostess with preparing or serving food and drink at parties.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“It is not difficult to deduce from an individual's position the kind of childhood he must have had. Unless something or somebody intervenes, he spends the rest of his life stabilizing his position and dealing with situations that threaten it: by avoiding them, warding off certain elements or manipulating them provocatively so that they are transformed from threats into justifications.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“A few people, however, can still see and hear in the old way. But most of the members of the human race have lost the capacity to he painters, poets or musicians, and are not left the option of seeing and hearing directly even if they can afford to; they must get it secondhand. The recovery of this ability is called here "awareness.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“[...] a sow bug crawls across a desk. If he is turned over on his back, one can observe the tremenous struggle he goes through to get on his feet again. During this interval he has 'purpose' in his life. When he succeeds, one can almost see the look of victory in his eyes. [...] And yet mixed with his smugness is a little disappointment. Now that he has come out on top, life seems aimless.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play

“The solitary individual can structure time in two ways: activity and fantasy. An individual can remain solitary even in the presence of others, as every schoolteacher knows. When one is a member of a social aggregation of two or more people, there are several options for structuring time. In order of complexity, these are: (1) Rituals; (2) Pastimes; (3) Games; (4) Intimacy; and (5) Activity, which may form a matrix for any of the others. The goal of each member of the aggregation is to obtain as many satisfactions as possible from his transactions with other members. The more accessible he is, the more satisfactions he can obtain. Most of the programming of his social operations is automatic. Since some of the ‘satisfactions’ obtained under this programming, such as self-destructive ones, are difficult to recognize in the usual sense of the word ‘satisfactions’, it would be better to substitute some more non-committal term, such as ‘gains’ or ‘advantages’.”
― Eric Berne, Games people play: The psychology of human relationships

“The essential characteristic of human play is not that the emotions are spurious, but that they are regulated. This is revealed when sanctions are imposed on an illegitimate emotional display. Play may be grimly serious, or even fatally serious, but the social sanctions are serious only if the rules are broken. Pastimes and games are substitutes for the real living of real intimacy.”
― Eric Berne, Games people play: The psychology of human relationships

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning