auri > auri's Quotes

“Mother. Mother. I promise I am learning. I am learning not to eat. I am learning to become a sliver.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“The realization, that validation of the pain will never come from those who inflicted the pain has the power to obliterate. Did it happen? If they are not apologizing, if they are not admitting they have done it, did they do it? What is real? What is true? Is my life a fantasy? Then let me wake up by dying.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“The beginning mosquito bites of breasts.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“Nobody knows my heart. It's hidden deep side my coat, my skin, my ribs. My heart was important for nine months inside my mother's belly, but once I left the belly, everyone stopped caring whether it beat enough times per hour. No one worries when it stops or begins to beat fast, telling me there must be something wrong.”
― Marieke Lucas Rijneveld, De avond is ongemak

“This is how I lived back then– through books. I locked myself into their stories, dreamt of their characters at night, pretended to be them. They were my armour against the hard edges of reality. I carried them with me wherever I went, like a talisman in my pocket, thinking of them as almost more real than the people around me, who spoke and lived in denial, destined, I thought, to never do anything worth recounting.”
― Tomasz Jedrowski, Swimming in the Dark

“First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which had lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world — a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring — this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.

Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else — but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies of the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.

It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.”
― carson mccullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café and Other Stories

“But the hearts of small children are delicate organs. A cruel beginning in this world can twist them into curious shapes. The heart of a hurt child can shrink so that forever afterward it is hard and pitted as the seed of a peach. Or again, the heart of such a child may fester and swell until it is a misery to carry within the body, easily chafed and hurt by the most ordinary things.”
― Carson McCullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café and Other Stories

“She understands that it’s delicious. But in the same way that she understands that the area of a circle is pi times the radius squared. As a fact, not a feeling.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“She’s going places. I’m going to die.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“But no value has been put on human life; it is given to us free and taken without being paid for. What is it worth? If you look around, at times the value may seem to be little or nothing at all. Often after you have sweated and tried and things are not better for you, there comes a feeling deep down in the soul that you are not worth much.”
― Carson McCullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café and Other Stories

“Every day, everyone is a hundred different people: who they are when they are alone and feeling fuckable, who they are when they are alone and feeling unfuckable, who they are when they are grief wrecked, when they are joy smacked.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“I nibble at the chocolate fudge coating, unable to take a real bite. My chest is too clogged to think of swallowing, too full up with my heart.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“Probing and pondering and overanalyzing is a kind of social suicide because it means you no longer take part in this life without inadvertently feeling both like a bird of prey and a vulture picking apart everything it sees.”
― Martin Page, How I Became Stupid

“Conflict makes me feel suicidal, in no uncertain terms. I want to shrivel up and die and never have the experience of a negative emotion ever again.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“Companionship. That was civilization's trap and snare.
And Shesheshen had stepped right into it.”
― John Wiswell, Someone You Can Build a Nest In

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Mister Time is not our friend.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“The small alien walked past the car.
'CO2 level up point five percent', it rasped, giving him a meaningful look. 'You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?”
― Terry Pratchett; Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“collaborators in global suffering.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“Being well versed in the specific tropes of a genre should save me from worry, but knowledge has never saved anyone.”
― Rivers Solomon, Model Home

“Übertriebene Rücksichtnahme, irrationales Misstrauen, unbezwingbarer Egoismus, gegen den jeder Anflug von Selbstlosigkeit chancenlos ist. Beide sind darauf bedacht, nichts davon nach außen dringen zu lassen.”
― Kim Hye-jin, Soy toda oídos

“Ich weiß nicht, was mich so beharrlich und so lange schweigen ließ…, aber ich glaube, es war nicht Angst oder Schuld oder ein schlechtes Gewissen. Es war die Erinnerung an jenes Stöhnen im Wald, an jene zitternde Lippe im Regen, an jenen flehenden Satz: „Ja so lasst mich doch endlich in Frieden!“ - dieselbe Erinnerung, die mich schweigen ließ, als ich Herrn Sommer im Wasser versinken sah.”
― Patrick Süskind, The Story of Mr Sommer