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  • #1
    Rick Riordan
    “Apollo was god of poetry as well as archery, and I'd heard him recite in person. I'd almost rather get shot by an arrow”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian
    tags: humor

  • #2
    Rick Riordan
    “So,” Beckendorf said, “I’m guessing you don’t want me to mention that little scene to Annabeth.” “Oh, gods,” I muttered. “Don’t even think about it.” Beckendorf chuckled, and together we soared out over the Atlantic.”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #3
    Rick Riordan
    “She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"

    "You'd probably kick my butt."

    "You know I'd kick your butt."

    I brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the River Styx, turning invulnerable . . . Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to stay mortal."

    Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah?"

    "Then up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-"

    "Oh, you so wanted to."

    "Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought-I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. And I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.

    "Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft.

    I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.

    "You're laughing at me," I complained.

    "I am not!"

    "You are so not making this easy."

    Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands
    around my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.”

    When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body.”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #4
    Rick Riordan
    “She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"

    "You'd probably kick my butt."

    "You know I'd kick your butt."

    I brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the River Styx, turning invulnerable . . . Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to stay mortal."

    Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah?"

    "Then up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-"

    "Oh, you so wanted to."

    "Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought-I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. And I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.

    "Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft.

    I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.

    "You're laughing at me," I complained.

    "I am not!"

    "You are so not making this easy."

    Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands
    around my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.”

    When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body.

    ― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #5
    Rick Riordan
    “With great power comes great need to take a nap, Wake me up later.”
    Rick Riordan , The Last Olympian

  • #6
    Rick Riordan
    “People don’t just appear on the beach unless they’re demigods or gods or really, really lost pizza delivery guys.”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #7
    Rick Riordan
    “Pigs Fly Back”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #8
    Rick Riordan
    “Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
    "He's the sun god," I said.
    "That's not what I meant.”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

  • #9
    Rick Riordan
    “Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”
    Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

  • #10
    Rick Riordan
    “Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
    "That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
    "Which one is me?" I asked.
    "The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
    "Oh, shut up.”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

  • #11
    Rick Riordan
    “I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”
    Rick Riordan

  • #12
    Rick Riordan
    “What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?"
    "I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you."
    "Why?"
    "Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”
    Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

  • #13
    Rick Riordan
    “The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important."
    "It was probably important to her.”
    Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

  • #14
    Rick Riordan
    “Dreams like a podcast,
    Downloading truth in my ears.
    They tell me cool stuff."
    "Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
    He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
    "A god named Fred?”
    Rick Riordan

  • #15
    Rick Riordan
    “We're staying together," he promised. "You're not getting away from me. Never again.”
    Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

  • #16
    Rick Riordan
    “Can you surf really well, then?"
    I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
    "Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."
    He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”
    Rick Riordan

  • #17
    Rick Riordan
    “You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"
    "Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.
    "Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"
    I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer.”
    Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

  • #18
    Rick Riordan
    “God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!
    Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

  • #19
    Rick Riordan
    “Percy: Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?
    Annabeth: Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we'll see.”
    Rick Riordan

  • #20
    Rick Riordan
    “Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”
    Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

  • #21
    Rick Riordan
    “Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked.

    "It only works on wild animals."

    "So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned.

    "Hey!" I protested.”
    Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

  • #22
    Rick Riordan
    “Very slowly using two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water.

    Octavian made a squeaking sound. "What was that for? I didn't say toss it! That could've been evidence. Or spoils of war!"

    Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation.

    "You other two..." He pointed his blade a Hazel and Piper. "Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus--"

    All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth's dagger.

    "You dropped this," he said, totally poker-faced.”
    rick riordan, The Mark of Athena

  • #23
    Rick Riordan
    “She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"

    You'd probably kick my butt."

    You know I'd kick your butt."

    I brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the River Styx, turning invulnerable . . . Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to stay mortal."

    Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah?"

    Then up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-"

    Oh, you so wanted to."

    Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought-I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. And I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.

    Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft.

    I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.

    You're laughing at me," I complained.

    I am not!"

    You are so not making this easy."

    Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands
    around my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #24
    Rick Riordan
    “Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. "That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.”
    Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

  • #25
    Rick Riordan
    “Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey-when you are the son of Poseidon, you don't have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.”
    Rick Riordan

  • #26
    Rick Riordan
    “Once she was gone, I knelt next to Annabeth and felt her forehead. She was still burning up.
    "You're cute when you're worried," she muttered. "Your eyebrows get all scrunched together."
    "You are not going to die while I owe you a favor," I said. "Why did you take that knife?"
    "You would've done the same for me."
    It was true. I guess we both knew it. Still, I felt like somebody was poking my heart with a cold metal rod.”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #27
    Rick Riordan
    “Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!”
    Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

  • #28
    Rick Riordan
    “It's okay,” he said. “We're together.” He didn't say you're okay, or we're alive. After all they'd been through over the last year, he knew that the most important thing was that they were together. She loved him for saying that.”
    Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

  • #29
    Rick Riordan
    “Now, come over here so I can pat you down."
    "But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."
    He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down.
    "You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?"
    "Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid.”
    Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

  • #30
    Rick Riordan
    “Monkey bar," Annabeth said. "I'm great at these." She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure.”
    Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth



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