Tatum > Tatum's Quotes

“Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'

And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed.
"Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes."
She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?"
"They just are."
"In what way?"
"In a magicky way."
She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?"
"Not really.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“We didn't die,' she said.

Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.
“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in
a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”
“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”
“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”
“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”
“We make a great team.”
“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Ravel said. “And I order people around really well. This morning, Tipstaff came over with a cup of tea and I told him no, I don’t want tea I want coffee. That was great. I really asserted my authority.”
“Did he go and get you a coffee?”
“No, he said he’d already made a pot of tea so I took the tea because, you know he’d already made it, but my authority was still firmly asserted.”
Ghastly nodded. “He’ll think twice about making tea again.”
“That he will, Ghastly my friend, that he will. What are we looking for, by the way?
“Seriously? I gave you the file half an hour ago.”
“Yes, you did.”
“And did you read it?”
“No, I did not.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“I also think Valkyire’s ex-boyfriend will come in handy here.”
Ravel frowned, “The dead vampire?”
Valkyrie glared at him, “I think he means Fletcher.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Caelen was never my boyfriend.”
“I didn’t mean to-“
“We never talk about Caelen,” Ghastly muttered.”
“I’m really sorry, Valkyrie, Ravel said. “Fletcher’s great. He’s wonderful. I’m sure he’d be delighted to help, and having a teleporter here will certainly solve some problems. We’ll arrange that, we’ll get him over to you, start the ball rolling, as it were. Once again, sorry about bringing up the vampire.”
Ghastly shot him a look whispered, “Why do you keep talking about him?”
“I can’t help it,” Ravel whispered back. “Now he’s all I can think about.”
“You realise,” Valkyrie said, “that we can hear you both perfectly well.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“mostly we've had to found ways to amuse ourselves."
"Really?" Valkyrie asked. "Like what?"
Plight's smile faded. "Like human sacrifice."
He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.
Then they both let go. laughing.
"Naw," Plight said, we just play board games."
..."she fell for it!" gasped Lenka. "She fell for the human sacrifice bit!”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“I don’t need you sensitive, Skulduggery. I need you aloof and irresponsible and arrogant. That’s why I love you. That’s why I let you hang out with me.”

“I’m truly blessed.”

She grinned. “You love me, too. Once you admit it, everything will be better.”

“They’re about to hook up the Cube to the Accelerator,” he said, and turned and walked off.

She followed. “You can’t run from your feelings.”

“I can walk from them.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“Grand Mage,” Ghastly said, as he put the map away, “did you know the sparrow flies south for the winter?”
“What an odd thing to say,” Ravel said, and as he turned, he snapped his palm against the air and Paloma slammed into the wall.”
…..“What do you know,” Ravel said, breathing a little faster, “Skulduggery’s silly little code actually works.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“Ah...Dectective, this is a very private and personal moment for them both. I'm sure you can understand their need for-"
A man stumbled out clutching a sheet round his waist and Valkyrie's eyes widened. "Whoa," she said as he hummed into a table. He was tall and sandy-haired and his physique was jaw-dropping lay amazing. "No way," she said. "Scapegrace?"
The man looked at her, and shook his head. The a woman came charging out of the back room, slammed into the man and they both went rolling across the floor.
"Give it to me!" The woman screamed. "Give it to me!"
Nye scuttled over. "Mr Scapegrace, you know the procedure cannot be repeated, your brains are in far too deteriorated a condition."
"You! Gave! Me! The! Wrong! Body!”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“You look angry," he said.
"You put me on hold."
"For a very good reason."
"You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“You've done what?"
"I know," he said. "You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked