whatsthatcrap > whatsthatcrap's Quotes

“You're only young once, but you can be immature forever”
― Germaine Greer

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
― Oscar Wilde

“We can only feel sorry for ourselves when our misfortunes are still supportable. Once this limit is crossed, the only way to bear the unbearable is to laugh at it.”
― Marjane Satrapi, Persepolis 2: The Story of a Return

“But Nightshirts aren't dangerous," Pippi assured her. "They don't bite anybody except in self defense.”
― Astrid Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking

“..The argument he was conducting with his neighbor as to whether the English magician had gone mad because he was a magician, or because he was English.”
― Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

“There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.”
― Dan Greenberg

“To err is human, to purr is feline.”
― Robert Byrne, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said

“Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.”
― Isaac Asimov

“I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.”
― Woody Allen

“When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.”
― C.S. Forester, The African Queen

“Every article and review and book that I have ever published has constituted an appeal to the person or persons to whom I should have talked before I dared to write it. I never launch any little essay without the hope—and the fear, because the encounter may also be embarrassing—that I shall draw a letter that begins, 'Dear Mr. Hitchens, it seems that you are unaware that…' It is in this sense that authorship is collaborative with 'the reader.' And there's no help for it: you only find out what you ought to have known by pretending to know at least some of it already.

It doesn't matter how obscure or arcane or esoteric your place of publication may be: some sweet law ensures that the person who should be scrutinizing your work eventually does do so.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Hitch 22: A Memoir

“It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”
― Lemony Snicket

“The sad truth is the truth is sad.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

“It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.”
― H. H. Munro a

“A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.”
― H.H. Munro

“so whatever you want to do, just do it...Making a damn fool of yourself is absolutely essential.”
― Gloria Steinem

“When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed”
― Laurell. K. Hamilton

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
― Sid Ziff

“Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.”
― Dorothy Parker

“It was obvious that he was a man who marched through life to the rhythms of some drum I would never hear.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Hell's Angels

“The monarchy is finished. It was finished a while ago, but they're still making the corpses dance.”
― Sue Townsend

“Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?”
― Sue Townsend

“Actually last night my married lover appeared wearing suspenders and a darling little angora crop top told me he was gay a sex addict a narcotic addict a commitment phobic and beat me up with a dildo.”
― Helen Fielding

“But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.”
― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

“The only feeling that a closer intimacy has created in him for his wife is that of indulgent contempt. As there is no equality between man and woman, so there can be no respect. She is a different being. He must either look up to her as superior to himself, or down upon her as inferior. When a man does the former he is more or less in love, and love to John Ingerfield is an unknown emotion. Her beauty, her charm, her social tact--even while he makes use of them for his own purposes, he despises as the weapons of a weak nature.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

“You make someone into a object of – not so much of pity as of weakness, sickness, stupidity, inefectiveness, do you see what I mean? You hit them for their stupidity and their inability to respond, and when you’ve hurt them, marked them, they’re even more sick and ugly, aren’t they? And they’re afraid and cringing too. Oh, I know this isn’t very pleasant, but you did ask.”
“Go on” he said.
“So you’ve got a frightened, stupid, even disabled person, silenced, made ugly, and what can you do with someone like that, someone who’s unworthy of being treated well? You treat them badly because that’s what they deserve. One thinks of poor little kids that no one love because they’re dirty, sovered in snot and shit, and always screaming. So you beat them because they’re hateful, they’re low, they’re sub-human. That’s all they’re good for, being hit, being reduced even further.”
― Ruth Rendell, Simisola

“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.”
― John Lennon