Mara > Mara's Quotes

“Kad sam je drugi put video rekao sam:
"Eno Moje Poezije kako prelazi ulicu."
Obećala je da će doći ako bude lepo vreme.
Brinuo sam o vremenu, pisao svim meteorološkim stanicama.
Svim poštarima svim pesnicima a naročito sebi.
Da se kiše zadrže u zabačenim krajevima.
Bojao sam se da preko noći ne izbije rat,
Jer na svašta su spremni oni koji hoće da ometu naš sastanak
Sastanak na koji već kasni čitavu moju mladost.
Te noći sam nekoliko vekova strepeo za tu ženu
Tu ženu sa dve senke,
Od kojih je jedna mračnija i nosi moje ime.
Sad se čitav grad okreće za Mojom Poezijom
Koju sam davno sreo na ulici i pitao:
"Gospodjice osećam se kao stvar koju ste izgubili
Da nisam možda ispao iz vaše tašne?"
Ja sam njen lični pesnik kao što ona ima i lične ljubavnike.
Volim je više no što mogu da izdržim,
Više od mojih raširenih ruku,
Mojih ljubavnih ruku punih žara punih magneta i ludila.
Moj snu, kao asfalt izbušen njenim štiklama,
Noći, za mene sve duža bačena izmedju nas,
Ona mi celu krv nesrećnom ljubavlju zamenjuje.
Moje su uši pune njenog karmina,
Te providne te hladne uši to slatko u njima
Kad se kao prozori zamagle od njenog daha.
Kako je ona putovala pomerao se i centar sveta.
Pomerala se njena soba koja ne izlazi iz moje glave
Sumo vremena, sumo ničega, ljubavna sumo,
Još ne prestaje da me boli uvo
Koje mi je pre rodjenja otkinuo Van Gog
To uvo što krvari putujući u ljubavnim kovertama.
U staklenu zoru palu u prašinu,
Plivao sam što dalje ka pustim mestima da bih slobodno jaukao.
Ptico nataložena u grudima što ti ponestaje vazduha,
Radnice popodne na tudjem balkonu,
Već dvadeset godina moj pokojni otac ne popravlja telefon,
Već dvadeset godina on je mrtav bez ikakvih isprava.
O koliko ćemo užasno biti razdvojeni i paralelni,
O koliko ćemo biti sami u svojim grobovima.
Još oko nje oblećem kao noćni leptir oko sveće
I visoke prozore spuštam pred njene noge.
Moje srce me drži u zatvoru i vodi pred njenu kuću
Gde su spuštene zavese nad mojom ljubavlju.
Ta žena puna malih časovnika sa očima u mojoj glavi,
Taj andjeo, isprljan suncem list vode, list vazduha,
Ljubomorne zveri oru zemlju i same se zakopavaju.
O sunce nadjeno medju otpacima...
Zuje uporednici kao telegrafske žice,
Prevrću se golubovi kao beli plakati u vazduhu,
I mrtve ih krila godinama zadržavaju u visinama
Kao što mene njena obećanja održavaju u životu.
O siroče u srcu što ti brišem suze
Moja nesrećna ljubavi razmeno djubreta
Stidim se dok je ljubim kao da sam sve to izmislio.
Kuća, ništavilo na svim prozorima,
Sve je dignuto u vazduh.
Samo se još nesrećni pesnici kurvinski bave nadom.”
― Matija Bećković

“You can be lonely anywhere, but there is a particular flavour to the loneliness that comes from living in a city, surrounded by millions of people.”
― Olivia Laing, The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

“What does it feel like to be lonely? It feels like being hungry: like being hungry when everyone around you is readying for a feast. It feels shameful and alarming, and over time these feelings radiate outwards, making the lonely person increasingly isolated, increasingly estranged. It hurts, in the way that feelings do, and it also has physical consequences that take place invisibly, inside the closed compartments of the body. It advances, is what I’m trying to say, cold as ice and clear as glass, enclosing and engulfing.”
― Olivia Laing, The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

“Friendships, even the best of them, are frail things. One drifts apart.”
― Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

“The cage is open. You can walk out anytime you want. Why are you still in there?”
― Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly's Guide to Your Next Crisis

“My past is everything I failed to be.”
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“I'd woken up early, and I took a long time getting ready to exist.”
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“We never love anyone. What we love is the idea we have of someone. It's our own concept—our own selves—that we love.”
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“I suffer from life and from other people. I can’t look at reality face to face. Even the sun discourages and depresses me. Only at night and all alone, withdrawn, forgotten and lost, with no connection to anything real or useful — only then do I find myself and feel comforted.”
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“I don’t know how to be silent when my heart is speaking.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights

“I like revisiting, at certain times, spots where I was once happy; I like to shape the present in the image of the irretrievable past.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights

“It suddenly seemed to me that I was lonely, that everyone was forsaking me and going away from me.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky , White Nights

“I wanted very much not to be where I was. In fact part of the trouble seemed to be that where I was wasn’t anywhere at all. My life felt empty and unreal... I felt like I was in danger of vanishing, though at the same time the feelings I had were so raw and overwhelming that I often wished I could find a way of losing myself altogether, perhaps for a few months, until the intensity diminished.”
― Olivia Laing, The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

“Sometimes, all you need is permission to feel. Sometimes, what causes the most pain is actually the attempt to resist feeling, or the shame that grows up like thorns around it.”
― Olivia Laing, The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

“At some point, you have to set down the past. At some point, you have to accept that everyone was doing their best. At some point, you have to gather yourself up, and go onward into your life.”
― Olivia Laing, The Trip to Echo Spring

“For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people's faces.”
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“The thought of dying has never bothered me, but getting hurt, losing blood, becoming crippled and the like—no thanks.”
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“Oh, how unbearable is a happy person sometimes!”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, "This is what it is to be happy.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

“Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
― Franz Kafka

“I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy.”
― Franz Kafka

“I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.”
― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

“They were smiling at each other as if this was the beginning of the world.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Last Tycoon

“So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I, too, am fluent in silence.”
― R. Arnold

“I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

“The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“I wanted to be where nobody I knew could ever come.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“How we need that security. How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

“I’m so pathetically intense. I just can’t be any other way.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath Vol 2: 1956-1963 – A Pulitzer Prize-Winning Poet's Intimate Correspondence on Marriage and Mental Health