Jacob Bittner > Jacob's Quotes

“Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

“This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called, 'We hate you, please die.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life

“If you want to live, it's good to be friendly.”
― Art Spiegelman, The Complete Maus

“People who live in glass houses should shut the fuck up.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Going outside is highly overrated.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“One person can keep a secret, but not two.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“You were born at a pretty crappy time in history. And it looks like things are only gonna get worse from here on out.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“For a bunch of hairless apes, we've actually managed to invent some pretty incredible things.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share.”
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

“Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer.”
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

“What kind of tea do you want?"
"There´s more than one kind of tea?...What do you have?"
"Let´s see... Blueberry, Raspberry, Ginseng, Sleepytime, Green Tea, Green Tea with Lemon, Green Tea with Lemon and Honey, Liver Disaster, Ginger with Honey, Ginger Without Honey, Vanilla Almond, White Truffle Coconut, Chamomile, Blueberry Chamomile, Decaf Vanilla Walnut, Constant Comment and Earl Grey."
-"I.. Uh...What are you having?... Did you make some of those up?”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life

“Anyway, how are you and Ramona doing?'

Uh... you know. Pretty good.'

Have you said the L-Word yet?'

The L-Word? You mean? Lesbian?'
Uh... No. The other L-Word.'

?'

Okay. Uh, It's "love." I wasn't trying to trick you or anything.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

“We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life

“Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness

“Let's be friends based on mutual hate.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness

“Okay, this might sound vague, but do you know this one girl with hair like this?”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life

“Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness

“Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up.
Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

“You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

“Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL sex.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

“Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

“Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

“Are we letting her drink beer again?"
"Hell yes we are, and it's hilarious.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

“Stephen... you know how, when a baby is first born, it just cries at the sheer horror of being alive?”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness

“You stole him with your advanced American slut technology! You're not nice!”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe

“Kim: Hey... There's a guy over there with a samurai sword.
Scott: Really? Like a katana or a wakizashi or both?”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

“She’s their secret weapon! They call her Trasha, and she’s eight years old. I hear they discovered her at the Pacific Mall arcade, playing Drum-Mania. She has so much A.D.D., it’s not even funny.”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life

“Gilded palace of Flying Burritos
Excellent Nouveau Mexican Cuisine
We all got to wear Swank-Ass Nudie Suits
I should have known it was a lousy pipe dream

Ohhh, Ohhh, what an awesome job
Ohhh, Ohhh, what do I do now??
Ohh, Ohhhhh, it's like I've been robbed
Spent the last of my paycheque
And I'm feelin' pretty downnnnn!!”
― Bryan Lee O'Malley, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

“When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case, I do them all the time. All of them"

- Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”
― Lynn Painter, Better Than the Movies