Thor Abrahamsen > Thor's Quotes

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  • #1
    Joseph Heller
    “Why are they going to disappear him?'
    I don't know.'
    It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22

  • #2
    Marilyn Monroe
    “To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, its society who’s ugly.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  • #3
    Joseph Heller
    “[They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22

  • #4
    Audrey Hepburn
    “I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles”
    Audrey Hepburn

  • #5
    Marilyn Monroe
    “This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  • #6
    Joseph Heller
    “The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22

  • #7
    Joseph Heller
    “Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22

  • #8
    George Carlin
    “Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
    I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.”
    George Carlin

  • #9
    Hunter S. Thompson
    “Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish—a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found a way to live out where the real winds blow—to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested . . . Res ipsa loquitur. Let the good times roll.”
    Hunter S. Thompson, Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame and Degradation in the '80's

  • #10
    “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

    Wear sunscreen.

    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

    Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

    Do one thing everyday that scares you.

    Sing.

    Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss.

    Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

    Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch.

    Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

    Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

    Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

    Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

    Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

    Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

    Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

    Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

    Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

    Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen.”
    Mary Schmich, Wear Sunscreen: A Primer for Real Life

  • #11
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    Jim Henson

  • #12
    Oscar Wilde
    “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

  • #13
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #14
    Neil Gaiman
    “I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
    Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

  • #15
    “We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #16
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #17
    “Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty to them. ...It was mostly men yelling shit from cars. Are they a patrol sent out to let girls know they've crossed into puberty? If so, it's working.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #25
    Stephen  King
    “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”
    Stephen King

  • #28
    “...nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #32
    Richard P. Feynman
    “Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough.”
    Richard P. Feynman

  • #34
    “You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.”
    Tina Fey

  • #36
    Joseph Heller
    “He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22

  • #38
    Neil Gaiman
    “Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them. And it's much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is to buy them the whole world!”
    Neil Gaiman

  • #39
    Umberto Eco
    “I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”
    Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

  • #40
    F. Scott Fitzgerald
    “Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”
    F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

  • #41
    Oscar Wilde
    “After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.”
    Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance

  • #41
    “I only hope that one day I can frighten my daughter this much. Right now, she's not scared of my husband or me at all. I think it's a problem. I was a freshman home from college the first time my dad said, "You're going out at ten p.m.? I don't think so," and I just laughed and said, "It's fine." I feel like my daughter will be doing that to me by age six.

    How can I give her what Don Fey gave me? The gift of anxiety. The fear of getting in trouble. The knowledge that while you are loved, you are not above the law. The Worldwide Parental Anxiety System is failing if this many of us have made sex tapes.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #42
    Gerard Way
    “Hey, girls, you're beautiful. Don't look at those stupid magazines with sticklike models. Eat healthy and exercise. That's all. Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough. You're good enough, you are too good. Love your family with all your heart and listen to it. You are gorgeous, whether you're a size 4 or 14. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, as long as you're a good person, as long as you respect others. I know it's been told hundreds of times before, but it's true. Hey, girls, you are beautiful.”
    Gerard Way

  • #43
    “Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.”
    Tina Fey, Bossypants

  • #43
    Douglas Adams
    “I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.”
    Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time



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