Victoria > Victoria's Quotes

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my eyes and all is born again.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“Have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up tight struggling to harness the nuclear force coalescing within your words? Have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside you that you didn’t dare let them escape in case they blew you wide open? Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t look in the mirror for fear of finding the face of evil glaring back at you?”
― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling.
Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“Don't make me laugh, I'd much rather cry.”
― Ellen Hopkins, Identical

“So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“I'm still kind of a mess. But I think we all are. No one's got it all together. I don't think you ever do get it totally together. Probably if you did manage to do it you'd spontaneously combust. I think that's a law of nature. If you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“That's what people do. Kill the things they're afraid of.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Am I lucky? Am I lucky that I didn’t die? Am I lucky that, compared to the other kids here, my life doesn’t seem so bad? Maybe I am, but I have to say, I don’t feel lucky. For one thing, I’m stuck in this pit. And just because your life isn’t as awful as someone else’s, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. You can’t compare how you feel to the way other people feel. It just doesn’t work. What might look like the perfect life—or even an okay life—to you might not be so okay for the person living it.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“How come someone always saves the people who try to kill themselves and then makes them tell everyone how sorry they are for ruining their evening? I keep feeling like everyone wants me to apologize for something. but I'm not going to. I don't have anything to apologize for. They're the ones who screwed everything up. Not me.

I didn't ask to be saved.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“Anyone can be crazy. That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“It will go away... The stuff in your head. Little by little.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“I knew people were talking, but I wasn't listening. I wasn't interested in anything anyone had to say.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“Now I just have these reddish scars there. I guess I always will, although Goody says they’ll fade over time. I don’t know if I want them to fade. That probably sounds totally freaky, but part of me doesn’t want to forget what it felt like, even though it hurt. If I forget about the pain, I might also forget that it was a really stupid idea to do it in the first place.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“Let me tell something, seeing your name and psychiatric ward on the same piece of paper isn't the best way to start your day.”
― Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

“I crave broken men.
When I try to save other people
am I trying to save myself?
Am I covering up for my lack of strength
by putting people back together?
I am tired.
I want someone to save me -
build an intricate web
and place it beneath me in case I fall.”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“I want things so bad that I force them, push them until they tear.”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“I am the cure and the disease.”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“When I try to save other people am I trying to save myself? Am I covering up for my lack of strength by putting people back together?”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“I am trying to find myself
in all of the chaos,
find something that I can call me
inside the screams and inside
the 'you shoulds' and 'you have to bes.”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“Most days I go home crying
and my dad tells me
welcome to the real world.”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“I can't believe
no one else can hear
I am screaming
inside my head.
Things are moving too fast.
I am going to die.
I am going to die.
I am going to die.
My hands are shaking.
I try to squeeze them, try to make it stop,
but now my fists are shaking,
and this shaking is working it's way through me.
It must look like I am having a fit.
I want to let the scream out,
but I think if I start,
I'll never stop.
It's not supposed to be like this.
I am too young to die.
I don't know how to make this end,
and if it doesn't, I'll have to go to the hospital,
be medicated, force-fed soft foods.
I don't want to be that person.
I am not that person.
I am not.
I am not.”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“I have been telling myself
that these feelings are new,
but they aren't,
I just didn't connect them before”
― Samantha Schutz, I Don't Want To Be Crazy

“When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“When I look at my room, I see a girl who loves books.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“I may die young, but at least I'll die smart.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“It always shocked me when I realized that I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought and felt such strange and awful things.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska