Quotes - Kristen (Wichita Falls, TX) Showing 1-30 of 553

#1

“They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now”
― Edna St. Vincent Millay

4146 likes

#2

“Do you know how sometimes - when you are riding your bike and you start skidding across sand, or when you miss a step and start tumbling down the stairs - you have those long, long seconds to know that you are going to be hurt, and badly?”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

tags: doom, foreboding

598 likes

#3

“Missing someone, they say, is self-centered.
I self-center you more than ever.”
― Saša Stanišić, How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone

661 likes

#4

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”
― Shana Abe

tags: love, romance

8589 likes

#5

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock

9401 likes

#6

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, temptation

7023 likes

#7

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields

7410 likes

#8

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

tags: fate, humor, simile

13152 likes

#9

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

2824 likes

#10

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: humor, life

2193 likes

#11

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
― Robin Williams

tags: humor, men

2382 likes

#12

“Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”
― James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

tags: humor

4492 likes

#13

“I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia

tags: faith, fool, humor, self-confidence, self-irony

6467 likes

#14

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor-facts

1807 likes

#15

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

tags: absurd, beauty, conceit, humor, love

1801 likes

#16

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

tags: confidence, humor, ignorance, knowledge

3383 likes

#17

“If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”
― steven wright

tags: humor

331 likes

#18

“You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.”
― Jon Stewart

tags: democracy, government, humor, politics, public-opinion

624 likes

#19

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

tags: dreams, humor

2242 likes

#20

“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”
― George F. Will

tags: humor

332 likes

#21

“If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
― Chuck Palahniuk

tags: humor, love

2279 likes

#22

“I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, life

2253 likes

#23

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.”
― Conan O'Brien

tags: humor, men, women

963 likes

#24

“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

tags: alcohol, drinking, drinks, humor

860 likes

#25

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
― Steven Wright

tags: humor, perspective, walking

478 likes

#26

“This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: humor, life

828 likes

#27

“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
― Terry Johnson, Insignificance

tags: humor, misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, philosophy

13820 likes

#28

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”
― George Carlin

tags: dissent, freedom-of-thought, humor, patriotism

1429 likes

#29

“Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me...only he's an imbecile.”
― Spider Robinson, Off the Wall at Callahan's

tags: humor, science-fiction, social-commentary

379 likes

#30

“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva”
― Josh Groban

132 likes

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