Thia Ride > Thia's Quotes

“I showed him the Post-it. “You see They’re from Lily.”

“Who’s Lily?”

“Some girl.”

“Ooh... a girl!”

“Boomer, we’re not in third grade anymore. You don’t say, ‘Ooh... a girl!’”

“What? You fucking her?”

“Okay, Boomer, you’re right. I liked ‘Ooh... a girl!’ much more than that.
Let’s stick with ‘Ooh... a girl!”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Be careful what you're doing, because no one is ever who you want them to be.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart. There's not getting over that.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“So what else can I tell you?" I asked. "I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me."
She triangled her fingers under her chin. "Let's see. Are you a bed wetter?"
"Am I a...?"
"Bed wetter. I am asking if you are a bed wetter."
I knew she was trying to get me to blink. But I wouldn't.
"No, ma'am. I leave my beds dry."
"Not even a little drip every now and then?"
"I'm trying hard to see how this is germane."
"I'm gauging your honesty. What is the last periodical you read methodically?"
"Vogue. Although, in the interest of full disclosure, that's mostly because I was in my mother's bathroom, enduring a rather long bowel movement. You know, the kind that requires Lamaze."
"What adjective do you feel the most longing for?"
That was easy. "I will admit I have a soft spot for fanciful."
"Let's say I have a hundred million dollars and offer it to you. The only condition is that if you take it, a man in China will fall off his bicycle and die. What do you do?"
"I don't understand why it matters whether he's in China or not. And of course I wouldn't take the money."
The old woman nodded.
"Do you think Abraham Lincoln was a homosexual?"
"All I can say for sure is that he never made a pass at me."
"Are you a museumgoer?"
"Is the pope a churchgoer?"
"When you see a flower painted by Georgia O'Keefe, what comes to mind?"
"That's just a transparent ploy to get me to say the word vagina, isn't it? There. I said it. Vagina.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Prayer or not, I want to believe that, despite all evidence to the contrary, it is possible for anyone to find that one special person. That person to spend Christmas with or grow old with or just to take a nice silly walk in Central Park with. Somebody who wouldn't judge another for the prepositions they dangle, or their run-on sentences, and who in turn wouldn't be judged for the snobbery of their language etymology inclinations.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“We believe in the wrong things, that's what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We're just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“With all due respect, if you’re forty-three, then I’m a fetus.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“I'm told there's no going back. So I'm choosing forward.”
― Rachel Cohn & David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“I find I very rarely live up to my words. And since you know me primarily through my words, there are oh so many ways I can disappoint.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“You have to trust the words. They do not create anything more than themselves.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“In a field, I am the absence of field. In a crowd, I am the absence of crowd. In a dream, I am the absence of dream. But I don't want to live as an absence. I move to keep things whole. Because sometimes I feel drunk on positivity. Sometimes I feel amazement at the tangle of words and lives, and I want to be a part of that tangle. "Game over," you say, and I don't know which I take more exception to- the fact that you say that it's over, or the fact that you say it's a game. It's only over when one of us keeps the notebook for good. It's only a game if there is an absence of meaning. And we've already gone too far for that.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“This must be part of Mother Nature's master plan—making these boys so irresistibly cute, in such a naughty way, that the purity of their intentions becomes irrelevant.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“You bookish little pervert.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Boomer took bites of all six varieties, contemplating each one and "guring out the order in which he would then eat them. “I like the
brown one and the lighter brown one and the almost-brown one. I’m not so sure about the minty one. But really, I think the lebkuchen spice
one is the best.”

“The what?”

“The lebkuchen spice one.” He held it up for me. “This one.”

“You’re making that up. What’s a lebkuchen spice? It sounds like a cross between a Keebler elf and a stripper. Hello, my name ees
Lebkuchen Spice, and I vant to show you my cooooookies...”

“Don’t be rude!” Boomer protested. As if the cookie might be offended.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“And who am I to blow against the wind?”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Cinderella was such a dork. She left behind her glass slipper at the ball and then went right back to her step-monster's house. It seems to me she should have worn the glass slipper always, to make herself easier to find. I always hoped that after the prince found Cinderella and they rode away in their magnificent carriage, after a few miles she turned to him and said, "Could you drop me off down the road please? Now that I've finally escaped my life of horrific abuse, I'd like to see something of the world, you know?... I'll catch back up with you later, Prince, once I've found my own way.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.”

This Santa’s beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn’t fucking around.

“I’m not really a little boy,” I pointed out.

“Get on my lap, then, big boy.”

I walked up to him. There wasn’t much lap under his belly. And even though he tried to disguise it, as I went up there, I swear he adjusted
his crotch.

“Ho ho ho!” he chortled.

I sat gingerly on his knee, like it was a subway seat with gum on it.

“Have you been a good little boy this year?” he asked.

I didn’t feel that I was the right person to determine my own goodness or badness, but in the interest of speeding along this encounter, I said yes.

He actually wobbled with joy.

“Good! Good! Then what can I bring you this Christmas?”

I thought it was obvious.

“A message from Lily,” I said. “That’s what I want for Christmas. But I want it right now.”

“So impatient!” Santa lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. “But Santa does have a little something for you”—he shifted a little in
his seat—“right under his coat. If you want to have your present, you’ll have to rub Santa’s belly.”

“What?” I asked.

He gestured with his eyes down to his stomach. “Go ahead.”

I looked closely and saw the faint outline of an envelope beneath his red velvet coat.

“You know you want it,” he whispered.

The only way I could survive this was to think of it as the dare it was.
Fuck off, Lily. You can’t intimidate me.
I reached right under Santa’s coat. To my horror, I found he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. It was hot, sweaty, Geshy, hairy … and
his belly was this massive obstacle, blocking me from the envelope. I had to lean over to angle my arm in order to reach it, the whole time
having Santa laugh, “Oh ho ho, ho ho oh ho!” in my ear.

I heard the elf scream, “What the hell!” and various parents start to shriek. Yes, I was feeling up Santa. And now the corner of the envelope was in my hand. He tried to jiggle it away from me, but I held tight and yanked it
out, pulling some of his white belly hair with me. “OW ho ho!” he cried. I jumped o1 his lap.

“Security’s here!” the elf proclaimed.

The letter was in my hand, damp but intact.

“He touched Santa!” a young child squealed.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“It looks like Animal and Miss piggy had sex," I said. "And this was the spawn."
"My eyes!" Boomer cried. "My eyes! I can't stop seeing it now that you've said it!”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Dullness is the spice of life. Which is why we must always use other spices.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“We believe in the wrong things. That's what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We're just so damn good at reading them wrong.

I don't think meaning is something that can be explained. You have to understand it on your own. It's like when you're starting to read. First, you learn the letters. Then, once you know what sounds the letters make, you use them to sound out words. You know that c-a-t leads to cat and d-o-g leads to dog. But then you have to make that extra leap, to understand that the word, the sound, the "cat" is connected to an actual cat , and that "dog" is connected to an actual dog. It's that leap, that understanding, that leads to meaning. And a lot of the time in life, we're still just sounding things out. We know the sentences and how to say them. We know the ideas and how to present them. We know the prayers and which words to say in what order. But that's only spelling"


It's much harder to lie to someone's face. But. It is also much harder to tell the truth to someone's face.

The indefatigable pursuit of an unattainable perfection, even though it consist in nothing more than in the pounding of an old piano, is what alone gives a meaning to our life on this unavailing star. (Logan Pearsall Smith)



Being alone has nothing to do with how many people are around. (J.R. Moehringer)

You could be standing a few feet away...I could have sat next to you on the subway, or brushed beside you as we went through the turnstiles. But whether or not you are here, you are here- because these words are for you, and they wouldn't exist is you weren't here in some way.

At last I had it--the Christmas present I'd wanted all along, but hadn't realized. His words.

The dream was obviously a sign: he was too enticing to resist.

Wow. You must have a lot of faith in me. Which I appreciate. Even if I'm not sure I share it.

I could do this on my own, and not freak out that I had no idea what waited for me on the other side of this night.

Hope and belief. I'd always wanted hope, but never believed that I could have such an adventure on my own. That I could own it. And love it. But it happened.


Because I'm So uncool and so afraid.

If there was a clue, that meant the mystery was still intact


I fear you may have outmatched me, because not I find these words have nowhere to go. It's hard to answer a question you haven't been asked. It's hard to show that you tried unless you end up succeeding.

This was not a haystack. We were people, and people had ways of finding eachother.

It was one of those moments when you feel the future so much that is humbles the present.

Don't worry. It's your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.

You think fairy tales are only for girls? Here's ahint- ask yourself who wrote them. I assure you, it wasn't just the women. It's the great male fantasy- all it takes is one dance to know that she's the one. All it takes is the sound of her song from the tower, or a look at her sleeping face. And right away you know--this is the girl in your head, sleeping or dancing or singing in front of you. Yes, girls want their princes, but boys want their princesses just as much. And they don't want a very long courtship. They want to know immediately.

Be careful what you;re doing, because no one is ever who you want them to be. And the less you really know them, the more likely you are to confuse them with the girl or boy in your head

You should never wish for wishful thinking”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“I’ve always resented Hermione, because I wanted to be her so badly and she never seemed to appreciate as much as I thought she should that she got to be her. She got to live at Hogwarts and be friends with Harry and kiss Ron, which was supposed to happen to me.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“It is much harder to lie to someone's face.
But.
It is also much harder to tell the truth to someone's face.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Do you want to guess what's in here?" I asked Dash.
"I think I've got it figured out already. There's a new supply of red notebooks in there, and you want us to fill them in with clues about the works of, say, Nicholas Sparks."
"Who?" I asked. Please, no more broody poets. I couldn't keep up.
"You don't know who Nicholas Sparks is?" Dash asked.
I shook my head.
"Please don't ever find out," he said.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“I figured being a bed salesman was a job of biblically bad paradox. I mean, here he was, forced to stand for eight or nine hours a day, and the whole time he’s surrounded by beds. And not only that, he’s surrounded by shoppers who see the beds and can’t help but think, Man, I’d love to lie down on that bed for a second. So not only does he have to stop himself from lying down, but he has to stop everyone else from doing it, too. I knew if I were him, I would be desperate for human company.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“If you tell me, I will leave you alone," I said. "And if you don't tell me, I am going to grab the nearest ghostwritten James Patterson romance novel and I am going to follow you through this store reading it out loud until you relent. Would you prefer me to read from Daphne's Three Tender Months with Harold or Cindy and John's House of Everlasting Love? I guarantee, your sanity and your indie street cred won't last a chapter. And they are very, very short chapters."

Now I could see the fright beneath the defiance.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“Aesthetic and utilitarian considerations aside," I said, "Those mittens don't particularly make sense. Why would you want to hitchhike to the North Pole? Isn't the whole gimmick of Christmas that there's home delivery? You get up there, all you're going to find is a bunch of exhausted, grumpy elves. Assuming, of course, that you accept the mythical presence of a workshop up there, when we all know there isn't even a pole at the North Pole, and if global warming continues, there won't be any ice, either."

"Why don't you just fuck off?" the woman replied. Then she took her mittens and got out of there.”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“She raised her hand to cut me off. "I am aware of your epistolary flirtation. Which is all well and good--as long as it's well and good. Before I ask you some questions, perhaps you would like some tea?"

"That would depend on what kind of tea you were offering."

"So diffident! Suppose it was Earl Grey."

I shook my head. "Tastes like pencil shavings."

"Lady Grey."

"I don't drink beverages named after beheaded monarchs. It seems so tacky."

"Chamomile?"

"Might as well sip butterfly wings."

"Green tea?"

"You can't be serious."

The old woman nodded her approval. "I wasn't."

"Because you know when a cow chews grass? And he or she chews and chews and chews? Well, green tea tastes like French-kissing that cow after it's done chewing all that grass."

"Would you like some mint tea?"

"Only under duress."

"English breakfast."

I clapped my hands. "Now you're talking!”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“No funny stuff in here tonight, you understand?”
Dash said, “I assure you I could not contemplate any of your so-called funny stuff seeing as how I have no idea why I’m even here.”
Mark scoffed. “You bookish little pervert.”
“Thank you, sir!” Dash said brightly.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“No, really,' I said. 'I think she's great. And I honestly like her about twenty more times now than I did when we were dating. But love needs to have a future. And Sofia and I don't have a future. We've just had a good time sharing the present, that's all.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“I deciced if I were ever to get into booze and women, my line would be, 'Excuse me, madam, but I would really love to bed and muss you. . . . Are you perchance free this evening?”
― Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares