2026 Reading Challenge

Carlie > Carlie's Quotes

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  • #1
    Winston S. Churchill
    “To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.”
    ― Sir Winston Churchill
    tags: inspirational, life, success
    726 likes

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  • #2
    James Branch Cabell
    “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.”
    ― James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion
    tags: optimism, pessimism
    2215 likes

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  • #3
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37982 likes

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  • #4
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148390 likes

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  • #5
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18550 likes

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  • #6
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24395 likes

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  • #7
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34473 likes

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  • #8
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25652 likes

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  • #9
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23098 likes

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  • #10
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64649 likes

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  • #11
    Mark Twain
    “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: books, contentment, friends, friendship, life
    47067 likes

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  • #12
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15558 likes

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  • #13
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30245 likes

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  • #14
    Mark Twain
    “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: living, world
    8288 likes

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  • #15
    Brandon Sanderson
    “If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not.”
    ― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
    160 likes

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  • #16
    Brandon Sanderson
    “You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

    It's really funny.”
    ― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
    tags: humor, sarcasm
    2020 likes

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  • #17
    John Bytheway
    “don't do things that kill you.”
    ― John Bytheway, What Are You Carrying in Your Backpack?
    tags: advice-for-daily-living
    110 likes

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  • #18
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1874 likes

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  • #19
    G.K. Chesterton
    “But there is in everything a reasonable division of labour. I have written the book, and nothing on earth would induce me to read it.”
    ― G.K. Chesterton
    116 likes

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  • #20
    Mark Twain
    “There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.”
    ― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World
    684 likes

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  • #21
    George Burns
    “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
    ― George Burns
    tags: family, happiness, humor
    5598 likes

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  • #22
    Robin Williams
    “Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.”
    ― Robin Williams
    832 likes

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  • #23
    Arthur Bloch
    “A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.”
    ― Arthur Bloch
    tags: humor-conclusion
    24 likes

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  • #24
    Brandon Sanderson
    “Personally, I say, "Out of the frying pan and into the deadly pit filled with sharks who are wielding chainsaws with killer kittens stapled to them." However, that one's having a rough time catching on.”
    ― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones
    tags: danger, sayings
    194 likes

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  • #25
    Brandon Sanderson
    “What did it mean to be called “lord”? I’ll assume you’ve never had the honor, since I doubt any of you happen to be British royalty. (And, if by chance you are, then let me say, “Hello, Your Majesty! Welcome to my stupid book. Can I borrow some cash?”)”
    ― Brandon Sanderson
    59 likes

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  • #26
    “You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. And who knows how many knives!”
    ― Brian Regan
    33 likes

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  • #27
    “ I would have been a lot better off if I’d studied more when I was growing up, y’know. But you know where it all went wrong was the day they started the spelling bee. Because up until that day I was an idiot, but nobody else knew.”
    ― Brian Regan, Live
    32 likes

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  • #28
    “That’s why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong on purpose so he could sit down. He knew he wasn’t going to win, so why stand there for 3 hours.

    First round. “Cat, K-A-T, I’m outta here.” Then as he passed you, “Ha! I know there’s 2 T’s.”
    ― Brian Regan, Live
    95 likes

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  • #29
    “It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well. ”
    ― Brian Regan
    79 likes

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  • #30
    “I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.”

    “You, too. But you don’t have one, do ya? I’m a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity.” That’s all I’m trying to say.”
    ― Brian Regan
    35 likes



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Tags From Carlie’s Quotes

inspirational
life
success
optimism
pessimism
animals
books
dogs
friends
humor
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
mankind
people
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
death
fear
reading
television
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
contentment
friendship
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
work
religion
living
world
sarcasm
advice-for-daily-living
clique
clubs
membership
family
happiness
humor-conclusion
danger
sayings