Maya > Maya's Quotes

“I'm so fucking in love with you I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.”
― Katy evans, Real

“What do you think? The last party she threw for you, you
came home with an inflatable cock on your head as a tiara, totally drunk,
singing ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!’ and carrying a huge basket full of sex toys.”
― Elle Aycart, Inked Ever After

“Lots of people have bad stories, and if they wail and sob and tell their story to anyone who’ll listen, it’s crap. Or half crap, at least.The stuff that really hurts people, the stuff that almost breaks them . . . that they won’t talk about. Ever.”
― April Genevieve Tucholke, Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”
― Ilona Andrews, Curran

“I want to know everything about you, so I tell you everything about myself.”
― Amy Hempel

“She couldn’t very well let him join her in bed like that.
Sure you could.
No I can’t.
Please?
Hush, self, let me think.’ (Grace)”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Fantasy Lover

“You actually enjoyed that, didn't you? (Amanda)
Oh, hell yes! Did you see the look on their faces? Man, I love this car. (Kyrian)
(She looked up at the sky and implored divine aid.)
Dear God, please separate me from this maniac before I die of fright. (Amanda) ”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Pleasures

“I swear to God," she muttered, fighting a laugh, "if you've dusted me with blue, I'll tie your balls in a knot and hang you up by them on the nearest sharp object I see.”
― Nalini Singh, Archangel's Consort

“A lot of women have trouble with their mothers-in-law.”

Raphael’s look was priceless. “My mother is an insane archangel.”
― Nalini Singh, Archangel's Consort

“Elena.

Hush, let me talk to the crazy lady.”
― Nalini Singh, Archangel's Consort

“My mother," he said, "has invited us to a ball."
Elena pulled a blade from one of the butter-soft forearm sheaths that had been a gift from Raphael. "Excuse me while I stab myself in the eyes-and disembowel myself while I'm at it.”
― Nalini Singh, Archangel's Legion

“He is bad in bed. I can see the roommate masturbating after the man falls asleep. I place the crosshairs over his heart. It would be a mercy killing. A man who goes to sleep without satisfying his woman deserves punishment. He sleeps through her self-pleasure? Death is too kind.”
― Jessica Clare, Last Hit

“He always has a joke to tell or is doing something so seriously ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh at him. Last night, he tried to dry his socks in the microwave.

Yeah.

Then Boo yelled at him. She told him the oven works better.”
― Belle Aurora, Willing Captive

“Body odor mixed with deodorant must make chloroform.”
― Belle Aurora, Willing Captive

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“Baby, Heaven doesn’t want me yet, and fuck if Hell can handle me, so you’re kinda stuck with me.”
― K. Bromberg, Crashed

“‘I heard a quote once. It might pertain to you. By memory it was by Mr. Johnny Depp. ‘If you are in love with two people, choose the second one; because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second’.’ She flicked off the lighter and sat back in her seat.”
― K.M. Golland, Temptation

“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Sheng Wang

“Do I have to get diapers?” he asked.
“Why, did Kade shit himself?” she laughed.
Dylan huffed loudly.  Eyebrows knitted together, “DO I NEED TO GET BOTTLES?”
Jen rolled her eyes and shook her head as if he were crazy, “Don’t you think it’s too early to start drinking?  You just got up…”
“IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR OVEN?”
“I’M NOT BAKING ANYTHING, YOU MORON! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?”
My God, you have surrounded me with idiots.”
― Christine Zolendz, Cold-Blooded Beautiful

“His other tattoo runs down his side along his ribs, and says, ‘Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward.”
― Aurora Rose Reynolds, Until Lilly

“No that I'm fat, but since the images that society forces down our throats these days tell us that if you aren't built like stick with boobs (bee sting size), then you are not skinny, but I am a healthy kind of curvy. I've always said that I was just born in the wrong century, cause back then? I would have been the shit!”
― J.M. Stone, Skin Deep

“We die the day we lose the will to go on. We die the day we stop caring about life.”
― J.M. Darhower, Redemption

“What are you doing? (Amanda)
I'm getting into my car. (Kyrian)
You own this?! (Amanda)
No. I'm stealing it with the key in my hand. (Kyrian)”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Pleasures

“I thought only a wooden stake through the heart killed a vampire. (Amanda)
A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything. And if it doesn't, run like hell. (Kyrian)”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Pleasures

“The only clothes Amanda has are the ones on her back. (Kyrian)
From what I saw, she had no clothes whatsoever on her back. Her front neither. (Nick)
One day, Gaitor bait... (Kyrian)
Note to self- be nice to woman, keep mouth shut. (Nick)”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Night Pleasures

“The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Kate makes good sausage," Jim said.

Six pairs of eyes stared at me. Thank you, Mr. Wonderful. Just what I needed.

"Oh yeah," Andrea snapped her fingers. "The links? The ones we had the beginning of the month? I didn't know you made those. I thought they were bought. They were so good." Her smile was positively cherubic. Of all the times not to be able to shoot laser beams out of my eyes...

"What do you put into your sausage, Kate?" Raphael wanted to know, giving me a perfectly innocent look.

Werejaguars with big mouths with a pinch of werehyena thrown in. "Venison and rabbit."

"That sounds like some fine sausage," Doolittle said. "Will you share the recipe?"

"Sure."

"I had no idea you were a sausage expert," Curran said with a completely straight face.

Die, die, die, die...

Even Derek cracked a smile. Raphael put his head down on the table and jerked a little.

"Is he choking?" Dali asked, wrinkling her forehead.

"No, he just needs a moment," Curran said. "Young bouda males. Easily excitable.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Be happy she’s crying,” he said. “That’s when you know they still feel something for you. The time when they look at you with dry eyes is when you’ve lost them.”
― Jessica Clare, Last Breath