Quotes - Paul Roarke (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 84

#1

“We're lost, but we're making good time.”
― Yogi Berra

tags: humor

87 likes

#2

“Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded”
― Yogi Berra

tags: humor, paradox, popularity, trends

183 likes

#3

“Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.”
― Yogi Berra

tags: paradox

160 likes

#4

“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: attributed-no-source, girls, love

21631 likes

#5

“If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.”
― Yogi Berra

44 likes

#6

“It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”
― Yogi Berra

117 likes

#7

“Its getting late early”
― Yogi Berra

tags: baseball, humor

62 likes

#8

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

tags: god, humor, religion

7984 likes

#9

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory

4688 likes

#10

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

2823 likes

#11

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
― George Carlin

tags: humor

3902 likes

#12

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, sex

2575 likes

#13

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
― Lily Tomlin

tags: humor, life, rat-race

1682 likes

#14

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology

19878 likes

#15

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11373 likes

#16

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields

7411 likes

#17

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7634 likes

#18

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
― Pat Monahan

tags: humor, immature, young

2643 likes

#20

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor

3031 likes

#21

“You're an idiot."
"I've never claimed to be otherwise.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: humor, idiocy

3079 likes

#22

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: humor

1393 likes

#23

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

860 likes

#24

“I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.”
― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

265 likes

#25

“Give a bowl of rice to a man and you will feed him for a day. Teach him how to grow his own rice and you will save his life.”
― Confucius

tags: education, enduring-good, generosity, life, wise-advice, work

605 likes

#26

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

tags: coach-hedge, funny, humor

842 likes

#27

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
― Benjamin Franklin

tags: drinking, humor

1592 likes

#28

“Being physically tough is measured by how many fights you win, but mental toughness is measured by how you react when all the chips are stacked against you, how fast you get back on track when life kicks you in the nuts. Any fool can win a fight, but it takes a person with true grit to never give up when all seems lost.”
― Benjamin Bayani, The Nation

tags: fighting, life, toughness

24 likes

#29

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.”
― Vince Lombardi

tags: determination, perseverance, success

977 likes

#30

“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”
― Vince Lombardi

tags: football, inspirational, paradox, perseverance

533 likes

#31

“Winning isn't everything--but wanting to win is.”
― Vince Lombardi

431 likes

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