Alexis > Alexis's Quotes

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
Foaly: The EIB?
Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl Band 1-3

“Trust me. I'm a genius.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“I don't like lollipops.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

"Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?”
― Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony

“Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it."
Foaly: "Smite it with what? Your secret birthmark?"
Orion: "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“Orion brightened. "I have an idea."

"Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.

"Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."

Myles: "In Paris."

Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"

Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"

Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."

Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"

Beckett: "Itchy what?”
― Eoin Colfer

“I feel a little dizzy," said Orion. "But also wonderfully elated. I feel that I am on the verge of finding a rhyme for the word orange."

"Oxygen deprivation," said Foaly. "Or maybe it's just him.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."
Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.
"I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony

“Even in death may you triumphant”
― Darren Shan

“Maybe you're going insane."
"Maybe," agreed Kernel.
"I was joking."
"I wasn't.”
― Darren Shan, Wolf Island

“Indecision is the source of chaos."

- Paris Skyle(Allies of the Night)”
― Darren Shan, Allies of the Night

“You do not have to be alone. The world never inflicts loneliness upon us. That is something we choose or reject by ourselves.”
― Darren Shan, Birth of a Killer

“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

- Harkat Mulds (Hunters of the Dusk)”
― Darren Shan, Hunters of the Dusk

“What are you doing?"
"Looking for my fangs."
"We don't grow fangs you idiot!”
― Darren Shan, Cirque du Freak: A Living Nightmare

“There's something different about you," he says.
"I've started styling my hair differently," I laugh.
"Oh. I thought it was that you were three feet taller, a hell of a lot broader, look like a werewolf, and are naked expect for that bit of cloth around your waist. But you're right - it's the hair.”
― Darren Shan, Wolf Island

“But in life we don't usually get to choose the time of our defining moments. We just have to stand and face them when they come, no matter what sort of a state we're in.”
― Darren Shan, Sons of Destiny

“She was a beautiful woman." Gavner sighed, tracing the outline of one of the elephants. "She just had very bad taste in underwear …"
"And in boyfriends," I added impishly.
Mr. Crepsley burst into laughter at that”
― Darren Shan, Vampire Mountain

“Life is a challenge" he once told me, "and only those who rise to the challenge truly know what it means to live.”
― Darren Shan, Vampire Mountain

“Cirque du Freak' is the best vampire series ever.”
― Darren Shan

“You stole from a member of the undead”
― Darren Shan, Cirque du Freak: A Living Nightmare

“Of course I have nightmares-Who doesn't?”
― Darren Shan, Blood Beast