Danny > Danny's Quotes

“Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one?”
― Jarod Kintz

“Sane is boring.”
― R. A. Salvatore

“To Do Today, 1/17/08
1. Sit and think
2. Reach enlightenment
3. Feed the cats”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?" And that answer, I'm afraid, is silence.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Self-knowledge is better than self-control any day," Raquel said firmly. "And I know myself well enough to know how I act around cookies.”
― Claudia Gray, Evernight

“Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Incubus Dreams

“On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.”
― Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug.”
― Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

“How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.”
― George Carlin

“Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“Oh, there you are, Albus,' he said. 'You've been a very long time. Upset stomach?'
'No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines,' said Dumbledore. 'I do love knitting patterns.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings...Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public high school. Dudley thought this was very funny. "They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?" "No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursely.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“You know, I don’t get why Fred and George only got three O.W.L.s each,” said Harry, watching as Fred, George, and Lee collected gold from the eager crowd. “They really know their stuff. . . .”
“Oh, they only know flashy stuff that’s no real use to anyone,” said Hermione disparagingly.
“No real use?” said Ron in a strained voice. “Hermione, they’ve got about twenty-six Galleons already. . . .”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there.
"Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
"Thank you!"
He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not.
“Is he — a bit mad?” he asked Percy uncertainly.
"Mad?" said Percy airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“Yeah,” said Harry. “No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly . . .”
“And from now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die — I’m just chucking them in the bin where they belong.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered.
“We’ve got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we’re ready. Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and
uncle not to worry —”
“They won’t,” said Harry.
“That you’re safe —”
“That’ll just depress them.”
“— and you’ll see them next summer.”
“Do I have to?”
― J.K Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Parvati positively beamed. Harry could tell that she was feeling guilty for having laughed at Hermione in Transfiguration. He looked around and saw that Hermione was beaming back, if possible even more brightly. Girls were very strange sometimes.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.”
― J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Do you want a cookie?
- What?
- A cookie. Like an Oreo. Do you want one?
- No.
- How can you not want a cookie?
- I just don't.
- Okay, fine,let's say you did want a cookie. Let's say you were dying for a cookie, and there were cookies in the cupboard. What would you do?
- I'd eat a cookie?
- Exactly. That's all I'm saying.
- What are you saying?
- That if people want cookies, they should get a cookie. It's what people do.
- Let me guess. Dad won't let you have a
cookie?
- No. Even though I'm practically starving to death, he won't even consider it. He says I have to have a sandwich first.
- And you don't think that's fair.
- You just said you'd get a cookie if you wanted one. So why can't I? I'm not a little kid. I can make my own decisions.
- Hmm. I can see why this bothers you so
much.
- It's not fair. If he wants a cookie, he can have one. If you want a cookie,
you can have one. But if I want a cookie, the rules don't count. Like you
said, it's not fair.
- So what are you going to do?
- I'm going to eat a sandwich. Because I have to. Because the world isn't fair
to ten-year-olds.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

“I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist”
― Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness

“Can you be a girl for a few seconds?"
"I'm always a girl" I frown.
"You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl"
I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

“Why it's simply impassible!
Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass