Quotes - Alan Shaw (Bracknell, B3, The United Kingdom) Showing 1-30 of 41

#1

“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: wordplay

#2

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
― Dorothy Parker, You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker

tags: horticulture, puns

819 likes

#3

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: epitaph, humor, the-new-yorker

852 likes

#4

“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

710 likes

#5

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

[Women Know Everything!]”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: bad-reviews, fancy, raisins, terrible, wordplay

747 likes

#6

“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor, men, romance

631 likes

#7

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

625 likes

#8

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”
― Dorothy Parker

423 likes

#9

“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: empty-nest, humor, motherhood, parenthood, parenting

402 likes

#10

“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
― Dorothy Parker, You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker

tags: abortion, inspirational

378 likes

#11

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humour

357 likes

#12

“So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.'"
Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, 'fug,' in his 1948 book, "The Naked and the Dead.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: bad-reviews

268 likes

#13

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
― Dorothy Parker

282 likes

#14

“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”
― Dorothy Parker

202 likes

#15

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: double-entendre, hormone, innuendo, naughty, riddle

226 likes

#16

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

tags: classic-insult, harvard, humor, innuendo, naughty, yale

170 likes

#17

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Algonquin Wits

tags: attributed-no-source

183 likes

#18

“Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: cashmoney, decadence

165 likes

#19

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor, money

146 likes

#20

“Living well is the best revenge.”
― Dorothy Parker

165 likes

#21

“I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”
― Dorothy Parker

171 likes

#22

“I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

119 likes

#23

“All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. ”
― Dorothy Parker

104 likes

#24

“It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.”
― Dorothy Parker

91 likes

#25

“There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

tags: writing

108 likes

#26

“Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: the-new-yorker

70 likes

#27

“This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.”
― Dorothy Parker

64 likes

#28

“Never complain, never explain.”
― Dorothy Parker

85 likes

#29

“There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

60 likes

#30

“It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: awesome-women, humor, poetry

55 likes

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