Safiullah Rahmnai > Safiullah's Quotes

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#1

“my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens”
― Rodney Dangerfield

23 likes

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#2

“I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: comedy, humour

17 likes

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#3

“Когато бях отвлечен като дете моите похитители изпратиха писмо на родителите ми "Платете 5000 долара или ви го връщаме”
― Rodney Dangerfield

7 likes

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#4

“Life's a short trip. You'll find out.”
― Rodney Dangerfield, It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs

tags: humility, life, perspective

18 likes

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#5

“When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: child, funny, humor, humour, kiddnapped, rodney-dangerfield

15 likes

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#6

“Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: humor

32 likes

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#7

“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

41 likes

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#8

“Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

46 likes

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#9

“A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

77 likes

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#10

“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

108 likes

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#11

“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
― Rodney Dangerfield, It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs

119 likes

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#12

“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

87 likes

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#13

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: affair, humor, infidelity, psychiatrist, wife

188 likes

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#14

“I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs, I say ‘no.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

167 likes

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#15

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: humor

186 likes

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#16

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: found, humor, kids, moving, parents

322 likes

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#17

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: psychiatry

238 likes

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#18

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: marriage

280 likes

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#19

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

314 likes

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#20

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: funny, humour, neighborhoods

965 likes

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#21

“Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour

1540 likes

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#22

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods

3719 likes

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#23

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: funny, humour, infidelity, parenthood, parenting, sexuality

2190 likes

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Tags From Safiullah’s Quotes

comedy
humour
humility
life
perspective
child
funny
humor
kiddnapped
rodney-dangerfield
affair
infidelity
psychiatrist
wife
found
kids
moving
parents
psychiatry
marriage
neighborhoods
crime
parenthood
parenting
sexuality