Quotes - Snowleopard (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 250

#1

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ

tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious

8924 likes

#2

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor

38058 likes

#3

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
― Markus Herz

tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints

13737 likes

#4

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time

6193 likes

#5

“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: animals, dogs, happiness, humor, puppies

6768 likes

#6

“My programs don't have bugs... they have random features.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

2 likes

#7

“I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: creation, god, humor, man

6390 likes

#8

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
― Orson Welles

3059 likes

#9

“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor

1410 likes

#10

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

152682 likes

#11

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26436 likes

#12

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28847 likes

#13

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12976 likes

#14

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

2822 likes

#15

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

tags: absurd, beauty, conceit, humor, love

1797 likes

#16

“Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)”
― Douglas Adams

168 likes

#17

“A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.”
― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War

tags: army, horse, humor

184 likes

#18

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64806 likes

#19

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
― Lily Tomlin

tags: humor, life, rat-race

1683 likes

#20

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

tags: books, humor

861 likes

#21

“I took an IQ test and the result came back negative.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

4 likes

#22

“This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

8 likes

#23

“Whoever said you can't buy happiness has never been shopping.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

4 likes

#24

“People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

2 likes

#25

“How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

1 likes

#26

“I thought I had made a mistake, but I was mistaken.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

2 likes

#27

“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam me up my clothes.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

3 likes

#28

“If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

2 likes

#29

“Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

1 likes

#30

“According to my best recollection, I don't remember.”
― Sean Keogh, Bottoms up: a Cheeky Look at Life

4 likes

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