Jeff Diamond > Jeff Diamond's Quotes

“You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer's greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry...”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Personally, I say, "Out of the frying pan and into the deadly pit filled with sharks who are wielding chainsaws with killer kittens stapled to them." However, that one's having a rough time catching on.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

“My behavior is nonetheless, deplorable. Unfortunately, I'm quite prone to such bouts of deplorability--take for instance, my fondness for reading books at the dinner table.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to find both whining and complaining quite interesting and amusing, though sometimes--unfortunately--it's hard to choose which one of the two I want to do.
Sigh. LIfe can be so tough sometimes.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

“Regardless, I often wish that the two groups - adults and kids - could find a way to get along better. Some sort of treaty or something. The biggest problem is, the adults have one of the most effective recruitment strategies in the world.

Give them enough time, and they'll turn any kid into one of them.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones

“Belief isn't simply a thing for fair times and bright days...What is belief - what is faith - if you don't continue in it after failure?...Anyone can believe in someone, or something that always succeeds...But failure...ah, now, that is hard to believe in, certainly and truly. Difficult enough to have value. Sometimes we just have to wait long enough...then we find out why exactly it was that we kept believing...There's always another secret.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“I've always been very confident in my immaturity.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“Authors also create lovable, friendly characters, then proceed to do terrible things to them, like throw them in unsightly librarian-controlled dungeons. This makes readers feel hurt and worried for the characters. The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“It's easy to believe in something when you win all the time...The losses are what define a man's faith.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Well of Ascension

“Marsh: Our best efforts were never even a mild annoyance to the Lord Ruler."
Kelsier: Ah, but being an annoyance is something that I am very good at. In fact, I'm far more than just a 'mild' annoyance--people tell me I can be downright frustrating. Might as well use this talent for the cause of good, eh?”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“I froze, shocked. (And don't try to claim that you did anything different the first time a government bureaucrat pulled a gun on you.)”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

“Remember, the past need not become our future as well.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Elantris

“To live is to have worries and uncertainties. Keep them inside, and they will destroy you for certain--leaving behind a person so callused that emotion can find no root in his heart.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Elantris

“One cannot seperate truth from actions...Physically inevitable or not, truth stands above all things. It is independant of who has the best army, who can deliver the longest sermons, or even who has the most priests. It can be pushed down, but it will always surface. Truth is the one thing you can never intimidate.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Elantris

“Well, Vin says that there's something behind all this, right? Some evil force of doom or whatever? Well, if I were said force of doom, then I certainly wouldn't have used my powers to turn the land black. It just lacks flair. Red. Now, that would be an interesting color. Think of the possibilities--if the ash were red, the rivers would run like blood. Black is so monotonous that you can forget about it, but red--you'd always be thinking, 'Why, look at that. That hill is red. That evil force of doom trying to destroy me certainly has style.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Hero of Ages

“If you're always on time, it implies that you never have anything better you should be doing.”
― Brandon Sanderson

“You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way.

- Breeze”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“Unknowing ignorance is preferable to informed stupidity.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker

“I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

“How do you accidentally kill a lord in his own manor?'

with a knife to the chest...well a pair of knives actually, one can never be too careful”
― Brandon Sanderson

“I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book.”
― Brandon Sanderson