2026 Reading Challenge

Julie > Julie's Quotes

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  • #1
    Phyllis Diller
    “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
    ― Phyllis Diller
    tags: anger, funny, sleep
    8251 likes

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  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: funny
    5183 likes

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  • #3
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods
    3718 likes

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  • #4
    Billy Sunday
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
    ― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ
    tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious
    8920 likes

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  • #5
    Masashi Kishimoto
    “She's strong! And scary...I bet she's single...I'd put money on it..”
    ― Masashi Kishimoto, Naruto, Vol. 18: Tsunade's Choice
    tags: funny, manga, naruto, women
    2229 likes

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  • #6
    John Green
    “What the hell is that?" I laughed.
    "It's my fox hat."
    "Your fox hat?"
    "Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
    "Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
    "Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
    ― John Green, Looking for Alaska
    tags: funny, humor
    6972 likes

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  • #7
    Gena Showalter
    “What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.”
    ― Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth
    tags: funny, life
    2019 likes

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  • #8
    Cathy Guisewite
    “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
    ― Cathy Guiswite
    tags: eyes, funny, lemons
    5194 likes

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  • #9
    Charles M. Schulz
    “This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: cute, funny, sad, stupid
    1521 likes

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  • #10
    Orson Scott Card
    “Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."
    Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"
    Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.”
    ― Orson Scott Card
    tags: advent-rising, funny, humour, stupid
    809 likes

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  • #11
    Gena Showalter
    “Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.
    1. You're wearing that?
    2. Something smells funny.
    3. Where's the Tylenol?
    4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
    5. I have a confession to make…
    6. My dad has a suit just like that.
    7. That man is hot. Look at him.
    8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…
    9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
    10. You're how old?”
    ― Gena Showalter, Animal Instincts
    tags: dating, funny
    1534 likes

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  • #12
    Gerard Way
    “I'm not drunk, just a little stoned.”
    ― Gerard Way
    449 likes

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  • #13
    “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
    ― Dan Quayle
    108 likes

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  • #14
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    “War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers
    tags: lotr, war
    4513 likes

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  • #15
    Lauren Weisberger
    “Oh, don't be silly - EVERYONE wants this. Everyone wants to be *us*.”
    ― Lauren Weisberger, The Devil Wears Prada
    tags: movie
    165 likes

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  • #16
    Emmuska Orczy
    “Sink me! Your taylors have betrayed you! T'wood serve you better to send THEM to Madam Guillotine”
    ― Baroness Emmuska Orczy, The Scarlet Pimpernel
    tags: movie-quote
    85 likes

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  • #17
    William Goldman
    “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
    ― William Goldman, Four Screenplays with Essays: Marathon Man - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - The Princess Bride - Misery
    tags: life, pain
    6213 likes

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  • #18
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: god, humor, life
    11626 likes

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  • #19
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: life, love
    13997 likes

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  • #20
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary
    9214 likes

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  • #21
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary
    tags: happiness, pain, peace, scar, sweetness
    15761 likes

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  • #22
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “I don't want to die without any scars.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
    tags: death, scars, tyler-durden
    6083 likes

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  • #23
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: future
    1907 likes

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  • #24
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk
    tags: humor, love
    2283 likes

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  • #25
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “The only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
    tags: martyrdom, suicide
    1178 likes

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  • #26
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: love
    1563 likes

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  • #27
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “In a world where billions believe their deity conceived a mortal child with a virgin human, it's stunning how little imagination most people display.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey
    972 likes

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  • #28
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
    465 likes

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  • #29
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
    tags: unique
    2939 likes

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  • #30
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: conversation, human-nature, weekend
    1024 likes



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Tags From Julie’s Quotes

anger
funny
sleep
crime
humour
neighborhoods
automobile
car
humor
religious
manga
naruto
women
life
eyes
lemons
cute
sad
stupid
advent-rising
dating
lotr
war
movie
movie-quote
pain
god
love
happiness
peace
scar
sweetness
death
scars
tyler-durden
future
martyrdom
suicide
unique
conversation
human-nature
weekend