Tessa > Tessa's Quotes

“We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident

“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8 color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64 color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64 color box, though I've got a few missing. It's okay though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8 color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation. So when I meet someone who's an 8 color type...I'm like, hey girl, Magenta! and she's like, oh, you mean purple! and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, no I want Magenta!”
― John Mayer

“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
― Groucho Marx

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”
― Bill Cosby

“Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.”
― Mark Twain

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”
― Bill Cosby

“Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”
― Mae West

“By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.”
― Mark Twain

“When anyone tells me I can't do anything, I'm just not listening any more.”
― Florence Griffith Joyner

“Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.”
― Marcus T. Cicero

“The important thing in life is not victory but combat; it is not to have vanquished but to have fought well.”
― Pierre de Coubertin

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
― Josh Billings

“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.”
― Erma Bombeck

“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”
― Groucho Marx

“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”
― Bob Hope

“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. ”
― H. L. Mencken

“A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.”
― Yogi Berra

“Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.”
― Satchel Paige

“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”
― Groucho Marx

“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”
― Casey Stengel

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.”
― Hedy Lamarr

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”
― Groucho Marx

“As I get older, I just prefer to knit. ”
― Tracey Ullman

“Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.”
― Marilyn Vos Savant

“Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.”
― Bette Davis

“California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.”
― Fred Allen

“The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.”
― Pierre de Coubertin

“The first is to love your sport. Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours.”
― Peggy Fleming