Donald > Donald's Quotes

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin

“Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
― George Carlin

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

“The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.”
― George Carlin

“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ”
― George Carlin

“Reproduction is more pleasurable than death.”
― Herman E. Daly

“While the invisible hand looks after the private sector, the invisible foot kicks the public sector to pieces.”
― Herman E. Daly

“People will do something—including changing their behavior—only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values.”
― Marshall Goldsmith, What Got You Here, Won't Get You There

“People who believe they can succeed see opportunities where others see threats.”
― Marshall Goldsmith, What Got You Here, Won't Get You There

“Madness is rare in individuals—but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule,”
― Peter Thiel, Zero to One: Notes on Start Ups, or How to Build the Future

“MONOPOLY. Tesla started with a tiny submarket that it could dominate: the market for high-end electric sports cars. Since the first Roadster rolled off the production line in 2008, Tesla’s sold only about 3,000 of them, but at $109,000 apiece that’s not trivial. Starting small allowed Tesla to undertake the necessary R&D to build the slightly less expensive Model S, and now Tesla owns the luxury electric sedan market, too. They sold more than 20,000 sedans in 2013 and now Tesla is in prime position to expand to broader markets in the future.”
― Peter Thiel, Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future

“The more social science we learn, the more we realize that people, while treasuring their independence, are in fact drawn to herd behavior in almost every aspect of daily life.”
― Steven D. Levitt, When to Rob a Bank: ...and 131 More Warped Suggestions and Well-Intended Rants – A Curated Collection of Witty, Off-Center Economics

“All conservatism is based upon the idea that if you leave things alone you leave them as they are.”
― Christopher Hitchens, And Yet ...: Essays

“Civil government, so far as it is instituted for the security of property, is in reality instituted for the defense of the rich against the poor, or of those who have some property against those who have none at all.”
― Adam Smith

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool,
But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.”
― Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”
― Galileo Galilei, Letter to the Grand Duchess Christina

“Do you hate people?”

“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.”
― Charles Bukowski, Barfly

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”
― Robert Orben

“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
― George Carlin

“Branding is about everything.”
― Tom Peters, The Little Big Things: 163 Ways to Pursue EXCELLENCE

“Today we will tackle the rudiments of getting people to buy the thing you’re selling. This is the heart of all activity of any kind in the human sphere. Along with the opposable thumb, this capacity—to sell others something they perhaps did not even know they wanted—is what separates Homo sapiens from its ancestors. Cows do not sell each other hay when they are hungry. Monkeys do not sell each other bananas. Only human beings can create the perception in other human beings that, even though they have showered, they still smell bad and need an underarm deodorant to set things right.”
― Stanley Bing, The Curriculum: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master of Business Arts

“The truth is your servant, not your master. What is the truth, anyway? Does any of us really know what’s true? And is truth an absolute? Can’t things be sort of true? A little bit true? True in a deeper sense? True enough for military work? True for me, not for you? All too true?”
― Stanley Bing, What Would Machiavelli Do?: The Ends Justify the Meanness – A Pithy, Vicious Guide to Corporate Warfare and Power

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW”
― Stanley Bing, Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up – A Wickedly Funny Survival Guide for Stressed Employees and Difficult Bosses

“Solve problems, don’t create them. A huge number of very dislikable people have this aggravating habit of either creating problems they can then solve to the acclaim of the multitudes, or blowing up the size of issues and then handing them off to others. Try to not do that.”
― Stanley Bing, The Curriculum: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master of Business Arts

“There is no such thing as a merger. There are only buyers and sellers. Those who are bought are in danger when they have to bend over to pick up the soap. That’s good to know.”
― Stanley Bing, The Curriculum: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master of Business Arts

“The truth is paradoxical; but man’s passion for rational coherence is even stronger than his love of truth.”
― Aldous Huxley, Proper Studies

“When psychological education is less rudimentary that it is at present, people belonging to different types will recognize each other’s right to exist. Every man will stick to the problems, inward or outward, with which nature has fitted him to deal; and he will restrained, if not by tolerance, at least by the salutary fear of making a fool of himself, from trespassing on the territory of minds belonging to another type.”
― Aldous Huxley, Proper Studies