Eli > Eli's Quotes

“Good for you. I’ll buy you a balloon the minute the world stops shitting on itself.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

“Are you kidding?” I stop in the middle of the kitchen. Spin around. My face is pulled together in disbelief. “You’ve spoken to me maybe once in the two weeks I’ve been here. I hardly even notice you anymore.”

“Okay, hold up,” he says, turning to block my path. “We both know there’s no way you haven’t noticed all of this” — he gestures to himself — “so if you’re trying to play games with me, I should let you know up front that it’s not going to work.”

“What?” I frown. “What are you talking abou—”

“You can’t play hard to get, kid.” He raises an eyebrow. “I can’t even touch you. Takes ‘hard to get’ to a whole new level, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh my God,” I mouth, eyes closed, shaking my head. “You are insane.”

He falls to his knees. “Insane for your sweet, sweet love!”
― Tahereh Mafi, Unravel Me

“Gansey had once told Adam that he was afraid most people didn't know how to handle Ronan. What he meant by this was that he was worried that one day someone would fall on Ronan and cut themselves.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“I guess I make things that need energy stronger. I'm like a walking battery."
"You're the table everyone wants at Starbucks," Gansey mused as he began to walk again.
Blue blinked. "What?"
Over his shoulder, Gansey said, "Next to the wall plug.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“You missed World Hist."
"Did you get notes for me?"
"No. I thought you were dead in a ditch.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“When a girl cries, few things are more worthless than a boy.”
― Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Minds

“Give her hell from us, Peeves.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me."
"Say 'please.'"
"Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?"
"Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice.
"All right- PLEASE."
"NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“Oh, Potter, you rotter, oh, what have you done,
You’re killing off students, you think it’s good fun — ”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Oh, most think he's barking, the potty wee lad, but some are more kindly and think he's just sad, but Peevesy knows better and says that he's mad.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?"
"Yes."
"You called her a liar?"
"Yes."
"You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?"
"Yes."
"Have a biscuit, Potter.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts...but you cannot deny he's got style...”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“From now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'Die, Ron, Die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this. ”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“It unscrews the other way.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Ron," said Hermione in a dignified voice, "you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon’s... backside.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Ah well... wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Okay, let’s go.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“I know [Umbridge] by reputation and I'm sure she's no Death Eater—'
'She's foul enough to be one…'
'Yes, but the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters', said Sirius with a wry smile. 'I know she’s a nasty piece of work though'.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Hermione drew herself to her full height; her eyes were narrowed and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity.
"No," she said, her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“We won't be seeing you,' Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick.

'Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch,' said George, mounting his own.

Fred looked around at the assembled students, and at the silent, watchful crowd. 'If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley — Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes,' he said in a loud voice, 'Our new premises!'

'Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat,' added George, pointing at Professor Umbridge.

'STOP THEM!' shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.

'Give her hell from us, Peeves.'

And Peeves, who Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Well, you're expelling us aren't you?" said Ron.
"Not today, Mr. Weasley."
Snape looked as though Christmas had been canceled.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of
their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for
the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through ......

Percy was deeply disapproving of this behavior.

"It is not a laughing matter," he said coldly.

"Oh, get out of the way, Percy," said Fred. "Harry's in a hurry."

"Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged
servant," said George, chortling.

Ginny didn't find it amusing either.

"Oh, don't," she wailed every time Fred asked Harry loudly who he was
planning to attack next, or when George pretended to ward Harry off with a large
clove of garlic when they met.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“When in doubt, go to the library.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.
I wish he was mine, he's really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets