Sandy > Sandy's Quotes

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#1

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26442 likes

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#2

“I think the only way to get through this life is laughing hard and constantly, mostly at myself.”
― Shannon Hale

tags: laughing

1914 likes

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#3

“Are you a Tigger or an Eyore?”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

206 likes

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#4

“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.”
― Rita Mae Brown

235 likes

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#5

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!”
― Dolly Parton

tags: inspirational

615 likes

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#6

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
― George Carlin

tags: humor

3902 likes

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#7

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”
― Mark Twain

tags: age

5511 likes

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#8

“Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”
― Voltaire

9010 likes

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#9

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guiswite

tags: eyes, funny, lemons

5195 likes

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#10

“People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

tags: life

7218 likes

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#11

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9763 likes

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#12

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
― George Carlin

tags: benediction, evil, goodwill, humor, inspirational, wishes

3519 likes

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#13

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
― Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity

12680 likes

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#14

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30246 likes

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#15

“Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.”
― Dale Carnegie

tags: happiness

173 likes

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#16

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
― Ernest Hemingway

tags: drinking

4215 likes

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#17

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.”
― Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance

tags: family, food, thanksgiving

2520 likes

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#18

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, life

119048 likes

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#19

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
― Napoleon Bonaparte

tags: enemies, mistakes, strategy

3431 likes

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#20

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
― Abraham Lincoln

tags: inspirational

10094 likes

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#21

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck

tags: carpe-diem, food, titanic

1317 likes

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#22

“Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.”
― Alice May Brock

tags: food

159 likes

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#23

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
― Mark Twain

tags: books, contentment, friends, friendship, life

47068 likes

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#24

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: attributed-no-source, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt

40763 likes

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#25

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
― Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History

tags: inspirational, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt, women

12566 likes

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#26

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor-facts

1803 likes

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#27

“You're only a man! You've not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!”
― Georgette Heyer, Powder and Patch

tags: humor, men, thoughts, women

722 likes

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#28

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
― Audrey Hepburn

6006 likes

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#29

“Dispute not with her: she is lunatic.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard III

tags: insanity, women

1726 likes

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#30

“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.”
― Janet Evanovich, Visions of Sugar Plums

tags: christmas, diesel, humor

59 likes

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