Sarahthomson101 > Sarahthomson101's Quotes

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
― Calvin Trillin

“There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.”
― Robert Frost

“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.”
― Glenn Beck

“I’ve got a sizeable retirement nest egg. It’s an ostrich egg, and it’s going to make an omelet so big that it’ll produce enough leftovers for decades.
”
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”
― Erma Bombeck

“The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me.”
― George Bernard Shaw