Quotes - Marissa (West Hempstead, NY) Showing 1-30 of 46

#1

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: god, humor, money

3322 likes

#2

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
― Dorothy Parker

1978 likes

#3

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
― Sid Ziff

tags: bad-reviews, book, humorist, misattributed-dorothy-parker, wit

1616 likes

#4

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor

1262 likes

#5

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: disapproval, humor, wordplay

1424 likes

#6

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

tags: drinking, drunken-behaviour, humor

1314 likes

#7

“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: wordplay

1260 likes

#8

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

[Women Know Everything!]”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: bad-reviews, fancy, raisins, terrible, wordplay

743 likes

#9

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

624 likes

#10

“I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

tags: calling, love, men, relationships

569 likes

#11

“Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.”
― Dorothy Parker

376 likes

#12

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”
― Dorothy Parker

424 likes

#13

“I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.”
― Dorothy Parker, Here Lies: The Collected Stories of Dorothy Parker

361 likes

#14

“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
― Dorothy Parker, You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker

tags: abortion, inspirational

379 likes

#15

“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor

351 likes

#16

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humour

358 likes

#17

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor

228 likes

#18

“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
― Dorothy Parker

282 likes

#19

“Women and elephants never forget.”
― Dorothy Parker

246 likes

#20

“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
wheelchair.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: health, money

258 likes

#21

“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”
― Dorothy Parker

203 likes

#22

“The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: love

226 likes

#23

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

tags: classic-insult, harvard, humor, innuendo, naughty, yale

171 likes

#24

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: double-entendre, hormone, innuendo, naughty, riddle

228 likes

#25

“Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: cashmoney, decadence

165 likes

#26

“Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: spring-humor

146 likes

#27

“All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. ”
― Dorothy Parker

104 likes

#28

“Living well is the best revenge.”
― Dorothy Parker

167 likes

#29

“I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”
― Dorothy Parker

172 likes

#30

“It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

tags: the-paris-review

119 likes

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