Steve Smith > Steve's Quotes

“The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.”
― Mark Twain, What is Man?

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World

“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”
― Mark Twain

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
― Mark Twain

“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
― Mark Twain

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
― Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
― Mark Twain

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
― Mark Twain

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”
― Mark Twain

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”
― Mark Twain

“I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.”
― Bill Hicks

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”
― Mark Twain

“A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.”
― Mark Twain

“Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations

“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
― Mark Twain

“great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.”
― Mark Twain

“Drag your thoughts away
from your troubles...
by the ears, by the heels,
or any other way you can manage it.”
― Mark Twain

“what is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. there is always going to be suffering. it’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.”
― mark twain

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”
― Mark Twain

“Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.”
― Mark Twain

“Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.”
― Mark Twain

“In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”
― Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad, Or, the New Pilgrims' Progress

“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”
― Mark Twain

“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.”
― Mark Twain (Author)

“A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”
― Mark Twain

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
― Mark Twain

“The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetic in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. And every step in astronomy and geology ever taken has been opposed by bigotry and superstition. The Greeks surpassed us in artistic culture and in architecture five hundred years before Christian religion was born.”
― Mark Twain