Alexandru > Alexandru's Quotes

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it. ”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Good morning, Hell-A. In the land of the lotus-eaters, time plays tricks on you. One day you’re dreaming, the next, your dream has become your reality. It was the best of times. If only someone had told me. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned. My family goes on without me, while I drown in a sea of pointless pussy. I don’t know how I got here. But here I am, rotting away in the warm California sun. There are things I need to figure out, for her sake, at least. The clock is ticking. The gap is widening. She won’t always love me “no matter what”
― Hank Moody

“She said one thing and I said another and the next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.”
― Hank Moody

“When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons.”
― Hank Moody, God Hates Us All

“Whatever you do, don’t be another brick in the wall!”
― Hank Moody

“How can you be so fucking beautiful and so fucking wrong?”
― Hank Moody

“I don’t think that’s it. I think everybody’s got that special someone that gets under their skin and doesn’t go away. I think maybe you have that particular fungal property for him.”
― Hank Moody

“I've never been lonely. I've been in a room -- I've felt suicidal. I've been depressed. I've felt awful -- awful beyond all -- but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me...or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I've never been bothered with because I've always had this terrible itch for solitude. It's being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I'll quote Ibsen, "The strongest men are the most alone." I've never thought, "Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I'll feel good." No, that won't help. You know the typical crowd, "Wow, it's Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?" Well, yeah. Because there's nothing out there. It's stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I've never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn't want to hide in factories. That's all. Sorry for all the millions, but I've never been lonely. I like myself. I'm the best form of entertainment I have. Let's drink more wine!”
― Charles Bukowski

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”
― Aldous Huxley, Complete Essays, Vol. II: 1926-1929

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

“If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote

“Do you hate people?”

“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.”
― Charles Bukowski, Barfly

“He is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived.”
― Franz Kafka

“I pop a cassette into the Buick's stereo. It's the Ramones. I turn the volume up high and roll down the windows. The highway air tastes of fumes, but it still feels goddamn good to breathe”
― Hank Moody, God Hates Us All

“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

“The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

“I am a cage, in search of a bird.”
― Franz Kafka

“Big Brother isn’t watching. He’s singing and dancing. He’s pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother’s busy holding your attention every moment you’re awake. He’s making sure you’re always distracted. He’s making sure you’re fully absorbed.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Lullaby

“His computer password is "password.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Lullaby

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can hurt like hell.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Lullaby

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club