Coop > Coop's Quotes

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#1

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.”
― Steven Wright

147 likes

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#2

“A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: life

3611 likes

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#3

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”
― Steven Wright

92 likes

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#4

“If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.”
― Steven Wright

32 likes

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#5

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64699 likes

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#6

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
― Albert Einstein

9087 likes

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#7

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: funny

5182 likes

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#8

“Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, paraphrased, science, systems

2914 likes

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#9

“Never memorize something that you can look up.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: humor, science

11415 likes

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#10

“Black holes are where God divided by zero.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: humor

2964 likes

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#11

“What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.”
― Albert Einstein

2604 likes

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#12

“Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: dissent, freedom-of-thought, independent-thought, skepticism

1634 likes

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#13

“It would be possible to describe everything scientifically, but it would make no sense; it would be without meaning, as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation of wave pressure.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: art, cybernetics, science

1808 likes

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#14

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation

71729 likes

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#15

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy

81877 likes

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#16

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

tags: books, morality, reading

20209 likes

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#17

“Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: education-knowledge

4457 likes

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#18

“Indeed I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing to do.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: humor-work

1249 likes

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#19

“Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.”
― Oscar Wilde

688 likes

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#20

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34477 likes

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#21

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations

tags: writing

6216 likes

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#22

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: patriotism, politics

6012 likes

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#23

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12941 likes

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#24

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10165 likes

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#25

“It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett

3100 likes

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#26

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11372 likes

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#27

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: humor, perspective, science

5860 likes

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#28

“I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: atheism, intelligence

1633 likes

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#29

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory

4690 likes

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#30

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
― Steven Wright

tags: fishing, humor

262 likes

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life
humor
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
funny
einstein
paraphrased
science
systems
dissent
freedom-of-thought
independent-thought
skepticism
art
cybernetics
intelligence
self-deprecation
attributed-no-source
enemies
forgiveness
strategy
books
morality
reading
education-knowledge
humor-work
writing
patriotism
politics
proverb
misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
perspective
atheism
amnesia
memory
fishing