2026 Reading Challenge

Ahkeem > Ahkeem's Quotes

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  • #1
    Winston S. Churchill
    “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
    — George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
    "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
    — Churchill's response”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: classic-insult, retort
    212 likes

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  • #2
    Mark Twain
    “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: classic-insult, simile
    412 likes

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  • #3
    Clarence Darrow
    “Every instinct that is found in any man is in all men. The strength of the emotion may not be so overpowering, the barriers against possession not so insurmountable, the urge to accomplish the desire less keen. With some, inhibitions and urges may be neutralized by other tendencies. But with every being the primal emotions are there. All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike some one they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.”
    ― Clarence Darrow, The Story of My Life
    tags: classic-insult, death, determinism, free-will, humor, instinct, personality, science, temperament, tendencies, urges
    306 likes

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  • #4
    Oscar Wilde
    “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: classic-insult
    762 likes

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  • #5
    Winston S. Churchill
    “A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”
    ― Winston Churchill
    tags: apocryphal, attributed-no-source, classic-insult, drinking, drunkenness, retort
    1447 likes

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  • #6
    Oscar Wilde
    “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
    ― Oscar Wilde (attributed to)
    tags: classic-insult
    5142 likes

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  • #7
    Mark Twain
    “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
    7634 likes

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  • #8
    Dorothy Parker
    “That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns
    625 likes

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  • #9
    Billy Wilder
    “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
    ― Billy Wilder
    231 likes

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  • #10
    Dorothy Parker
    “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: beauty, classic-insult, humor, ugly
    3583 likes

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  • #11
    Mark Twain
    “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: living, world
    8287 likes

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  • #12
    Mark Twain
    “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom
    43886 likes

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  • #13
    Mark Twain
    “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
    92184 likes

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  • #14
    Mark Twain
    “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: books, contentment, friends, friendship, life
    47060 likes

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  • #15
    Mark Twain
    “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: aliteracy, attributed-no-source, literacy
    41000 likes

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  • #16
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34468 likes

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  • #17
    Mark Twain
    “′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: books, classic, reading
    18879 likes

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  • #18
    Mark Twain
    “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: misattributed-mark-twain, truth
    16288 likes

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  • #19
    Mark Twain
    “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: truth
    16213 likes

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  • #20
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13744 likes

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  • #21
    Mark Twain
    “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: greatness
    12746 likes

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  • #22
    Mark Twain
    “In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: bookroom, books, libraries, wisdom
    10426 likes

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  • #23
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, politics
    9105 likes

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  • #24
    Mark Twain
    “Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, writing
    9633 likes

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  • #25
    Mark Twain
    “But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor-satan
    6212 likes

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  • #26
    Mark Twain
    “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: death, inspirational
    6381 likes

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  • #27
    Allen Saunders
    “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
    ― Allen Saunders
    tags: fate, life, misattributed-john-lennon, planning, plans
    43662 likes

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  • #28
    Robert Frost
    “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
    ― Robert Frost
    tags: life
    109286 likes

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  • #29
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119059 likes

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  • #30
    William W. Purkey
    “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
    Love like you'll never be hurt,
    Sing like there's nobody listening,
    And live like it's heaven on earth.”
    ― William W. Purkey
    tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
    128901 likes



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Tags From Ahkeem’s Quotes

classic-insult
retort
simile
death
determinism
free-will
humor
instinct
personality
science
temperament
tendencies
urges
apocryphal
attributed-no-source
drinking
drunkenness
funeral
funny
beauty
ugly
living
world
individuality
majority
minority
pause
reflect
wisdom
lies
lying
memory
truth
books
contentment
friends
friendship
life
aliteracy
literacy
classic
reading
misattributed-mark-twain
health
misprints
greatness
bookroom
libraries
politics
writing
humor-satan
inspirational
fate
misattributed-john-lennon
planning
plans
dance
heaven
hurt
love
sing