Caroline > Caroline's Quotes

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

“I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
― Oscar Wilde

“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.”
― Ben Elton, Bachelor Boys: The Young Ones Book

“There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“I am no king, and I am no lord,
And I am no soldier at-arms," said he.
"I'm none but a harper, and a very poor harper,
That am come hither to wed with ye."

"If you were a lord, you should be my lord,
And the same if you were a thief," said she.
"And if you are a harper, you shall be my harper,
For it makes no matter to me, to me,
For it makes no matter to me."

"But what if it prove that I am no harper?
That I lied for your love most monstrously?"

"Why, then I'll teach you to play and sing,
For I dearly love a good harp," said she.”
― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

“When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
― Herman Wouk

“Humor is reason gone mad.”
― Groucho Marx

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
― Groucho Marx

“I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”
― Woody Allen

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
― George Burns

“Did you ever see anybody so disgusting: said lightning to thunder, "never," growled thunder, "let's give him the works.”
― William Steig, Shrek!

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
― Lily Tomlin

“To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”
― Woody Allen

“Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
― George Carlin

“...disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business....”
― Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.”
― Robin Williams

“Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.”
― Garrison Keillor, Pontoon

“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“My brain? That's my second favorite organ.”
― Woody Allen

“People, generally, suck.”
― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.”
― Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy, Poems of Arthur O'Shaughnessy

“There are two means of refuge from the misery of life — music and cats.”
― Albert Schweitzer

“Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.”
― Frank Zappa

“Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.”
― Jasper Fforde