Kate > Kate's Quotes

“I did deranged quite well, when the occasion called for it.”
― Ilona Andrews

“I don't want it to be attributed to a loss of control on my part. When I throw you out of the window, I want there to be no doubt the act was deliberate.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Most girls get flowers or candy. I get a declaration of martial law.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“The Guardian's eyes widened with amazement, and he tightened his grip on me. He had my arms, so the action I was forced to take was entirely his fault. It was as direct as my previous action, but not nearly as polite.
In the next instant, the Guardian was on his knees trying to remember how to breath.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila , maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it.”
― Kim Harrison, Every Which Way But Dead

“To find the Scythe of Nen, I first had to find possibly the most elusive quarry I'd ever had to locate in my entire seeking career: a virgin on an island full of college students.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing.”
― Jackie Kessler, Hell's Belles

“... vampires are like gourmet chocolate - oh, so tempting, but overindulgence is a killer.”
― Sharon Ashwood

“You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?”
― Nalini Singh, Angels' Blood

“Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic god was wreaking havoc in downtown Atlanta, the skies were raining winged snakes, and SWAT was screaming for more ammo.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I'm a substitute mom."
"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Yes, I'm too mad to punish you right now. We'll talk about it when we get home. Go brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on dry clothes, and get the guns. We're going to Wal-Mart.”
― Ilona Andrews, On the Edge

“I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.”
― Ilona Andrews, On the Edge

“Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Wanna spot me?"
"No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“He said 'woman' in the same way I'd say 'Mmmm, yummy chocolate.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I think I've been rather reasonable about this whole situation."
"How do you figure?"
"They are still breathing, aren't they?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“This was hell and I was its fury.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread."
"Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Why a raven?"
"To honor my father."
"The writing under it, is that Cyrillic?"
"Yes."
"What does it say?"
"Dar Vorona. Gift of the Raven. I am my father's gift."
"The raven is holding a bloody sword."
"I never said it was a nice gift.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Just to make sure the odd humanoid aberration doesn't get away, always pin it through the nuts.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Need some help, Ass Kicker?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns