Jeremy > Jeremy's Quotes

“Don't call me a dinosaur. It isn't fair to the dinosaurs. What did a dinosaur ever do to you?”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“But the only way never to do the wrong thing is never to do anything.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“I was sitting in my lab, my hand spread open on the table, while the skull examined my palm.

I'd worn a mark there for years--an unblemished patch of skin amidst all the burn scars, in the perfect shape of the angelic sigil that was Lasciel's name.

The mark was gone.

In its place was just an irregular patch of unburned skin.

"It looks like there's no mark there anymore," Bob said.

I sighed. "Thank you, Bob," I said. "It's good to have a professional opinion."

"Well, what did you expect?" Bob said. The skull swiveled around on the table and tilted up to look at my face. "Hmmmmm. And you say the entity isn't responding to you anymore?"

"No. And she's always jumped every time I said frog."

"Interesting," Bob said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, from what you told me, this psychic attack the entity blocked for you was quite severe."

I shivered, remembering. "Yeah."

"And the process she used to accelerate your brain and shield you was traumatic as well."

"Right. She said it could cause me brain damage."

"Uh-huh," Bob said. "I think it did."

"Huh?"

"See what I mean?" Bob asked cheerfully. "You're thicker already."

"Harry get hammer," I said. "Smash stupid talky skull.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?"

"Evil's afoot."

"Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!”
― Jim Butcher, Summer Knight

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“She looked up at me with a polite smile, her dark hair long and appealing...I liked the smile.
Maybe I didn't look like a beaten-up bum. Maybe on me it just looked ruggedly determined.
"I'm sorry, sir," she said, "but the addiction counseling center is on twenty-six."
Sigh.”
― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

“I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too full to receive them.”
― St. Augustine, City of God

“What are kingdoms without justice? They're just gangs of bandits.”
― Augustine of Hippo, City of God

“I didn’t have any money or ID. I didn’t have a credit card. Hell, I didn’t have a business card.

What would it say? 'Harry Dresden, Winter Knight, Targets Slain, No Barbecues, Waterslides, or Fireworks Displays.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“I’d had a key to the marina’s locks at one time, but I’d lost track of it when I got shot, drowned, died, got revived into a coma, haunted my friends for a while, and then woke up in Mab’s bed.

(My life. Hell’s bells.)”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“You about done?” I asked him. “I need the table.”
“What is it with you people?” Butters groused. “For God’s sake, these are real injuries here.”
“There will be more of them than a thousand reluctant physicians could patch up if we don’t get moving,” I said. “Today’s serious business, man.”
“How serious?”
“Can’t think when it’s been grimmer,” I said. “Freaking waste-of-space vampires, lying around on tables you need to use.”
“Useless wizards,” Thomas said, “jumping on enemy guns and accidentally shooting their allies with them.”
“Oh,” I said. “That was when I jumped Ace?”
He snorted. “Yeah.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“Mab turned back to me and eyed me up and down. She quirked one eyebrow, very slightly, somehow conveying layers of disapproval toward multiple aspects of my appearance, conduct, and situation, and said, 'Finally.'

'There’s been a lot on my mind,' I replied.

'It seems unlikely that your cares will lighten,' Queen Mab replied. 'Improve your mind.' ”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“Everything was perfectly healthy and normal here in Denial Land.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“If we have never had the experience of taking our commonplace religious shoes off our commonplace religious feet, and getting rid of all the undue familiarity with which we approach God, it is questionable whether we have ever stood in his presence.”
― Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest: Selections for Everyday

“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
― Oscar Wilde

“When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him.”
― Oswald Chambers

“You need to know where to go,' Sanya said.
'Yes,'
'And you are going to consult four large pizzas for guidance.'
'Yes,' I said.
...'There is, I think, humour here which does not translate well from English into sanity.'
'That's pretty rich coming from the agnostic Knight of the Cross with a holy Sword who takes his orders from an archangel.' I said.
- Harry Dresden & Sanya, Changes, Jim Butcher”
― Jim Butcher, Changes

“I know it's not thematically in tune with my new job and all, but I find it effective. Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day," I say. "But set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Tao of Pratchett. I live by it.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“You don’t have to run faster than the bear to get away. You just have to run faster than the guy next to you.”
― Jim Butcher

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”
― Winston S. Churchill