Jeremy > Jeremy's Quotes

“Don't call me a dinosaur. It isn't fair to the dinosaurs. What did a dinosaur ever do to you?”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“But the only way never to do the wrong thing is never to do anything.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“Bring it, Darth Bathrobe!”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“I was sitting in my lab, my hand spread open on the table, while the skull examined my palm.

I'd worn a mark there for years--an unblemished patch of skin amidst all the burn scars, in the perfect shape of the angelic sigil that was Lasciel's name.

The mark was gone.

In its place was just an irregular patch of unburned skin.

"It looks like there's no mark there anymore," Bob said.

I sighed. "Thank you, Bob," I said. "It's good to have a professional opinion."

"Well, what did you expect?" Bob said. The skull swiveled around on the table and tilted up to look at my face. "Hmmmmm. And you say the entity isn't responding to you anymore?"

"No. And she's always jumped every time I said frog."

"Interesting," Bob said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, from what you told me, this psychic attack the entity blocked for you was quite severe."

I shivered, remembering. "Yeah."

"And the process she used to accelerate your brain and shield you was traumatic as well."

"Right. She said it could cause me brain damage."

"Uh-huh," Bob said. "I think it did."

"Huh?"

"See what I mean?" Bob asked cheerfully. "You're thicker already."

"Harry get hammer," I said. "Smash stupid talky skull.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?"

"Evil's afoot."

"Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night

“By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.”
― Alison Croggon, The Singing

“In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!”
― Jim Butcher, Summer Knight

“Breeze strolled over to the table and chose a seat with his characteristic decorum. The portly man raised his dueling cane, pointing it at Ham. 'I see that my period of intellectual respite has come to an end.'

Ham smiled. 'I thought up a couple beastly questions while I was gone, and I've been saving them just for you, Breeze.'

'I'm dying of anticipation,' Breeze said. He turned his cane toward Lestibournes. 'Spook, drink.'

Spook rushed over and fetched Breeze a cup of wine.

'He's such a fine lad,' Breeze noted, accepting the drink. 'I barely even have to nudge him Allomantically. If only the rest of you ruffians were so accommodating.'

Spook frowned. 'Niceing the not on the playing without.'

'I have no idea what you just said, child,' Breeze said. 'So I'm simply going to pretend it was coherent, then move on.'

Kelsier rolled his eyes. 'Losing the stress on the nip,' he said. 'Notting without the needing of care.'

'Riding the rile of the rids to the right,' Spook said with a nod.

'What are you two babbling about?' Breeze said testily.

'Wasing the was of brightness,' Spook said. 'Nip the having of wishing of this.'

'Ever wasing the doing of this,' Kelsier agreed.

'Ever wasing the wish of having the have,' Ham added with a smile. 'Brighting the wish of wasing the not.'

Breeze turned to Dockson with exasperation. 'I believe our companions have finally lost their minds, dear friend.'

Dockson shrugged. Then, with a perfectly straight face, he said, 'Wasing not of wasing is.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn: The Final Empire

“Desjani pulled out a ration bar. 'Hungry?' she asked Geary.

'I had something earlier. Is that a Yanika Babiya?'


'No. It’s . . .' She squinted at the label. 'Spicy chicken curry.'

'A chicken curry ration bar? How are they?'

Taking a small bite, Desjani chewed slowly, pretending not to be aware that everyone on the bridge was watching her instead of staring at the representation of the alien hypernet gate. 'It’s definitely got curry in it. Spicy, not so much. Some of the other stuff tastes like chicken.'

'That doesn’t narrow it down too much, does it?' Geary said.

'Every kind of meat in a ration bar tastes like chicken, Captain,' Lieutenant Castries suggested. 'Except the chicken.'

'You’re right, Lieutenant,' Desjani said. 'Real chicken in ration bars tastes like, what, mutton?'

'Ham,' Yuon tossed in. 'Bad ham.'

'So this can’t be chicken because it tastes like chicken,' Desjani concluded.”
― Jack Campbell, Dreadnaught

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.”
― Jim Butcher, Dead Beat

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

“She looked up at me with a polite smile, her dark hair long and appealing...I liked the smile.
Maybe I didn't look like a beaten-up bum. Maybe on me it just looked ruggedly determined.
"I'm sorry, sir," she said, "but the addiction counseling center is on twenty-six."
Sigh.”
― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

“I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.”
― Jim Butcher, Grave Peril

“God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too full to receive them.”
― St. Augustine, City of God

“What are kingdoms without justice? They're just gangs of bandits.”
― Augustine of Hippo, City of God

“I didn’t have any money or ID. I didn’t have a credit card. Hell, I didn’t have a business card.

What would it say? 'Harry Dresden, Winter Knight, Targets Slain, No Barbecues, Waterslides, or Fireworks Displays.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“I’d had a key to the marina’s locks at one time, but I’d lost track of it when I got shot, drowned, died, got revived into a coma, haunted my friends for a while, and then woke up in Mab’s bed.

(My life. Hell’s bells.)”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“You about done?” I asked him. “I need the table.”
“What is it with you people?” Butters groused. “For God’s sake, these are real injuries here.”
“There will be more of them than a thousand reluctant physicians could patch up if we don’t get moving,” I said. “Today’s serious business, man.”
“How serious?”
“Can’t think when it’s been grimmer,” I said. “Freaking waste-of-space vampires, lying around on tables you need to use.”
“Useless wizards,” Thomas said, “jumping on enemy guns and accidentally shooting their allies with them.”
“Oh,” I said. “That was when I jumped Ace?”
He snorted. “Yeah.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“Mab turned back to me and eyed me up and down. She quirked one eyebrow, very slightly, somehow conveying layers of disapproval toward multiple aspects of my appearance, conduct, and situation, and said, 'Finally.'

'There’s been a lot on my mind,' I replied.

'It seems unlikely that your cares will lighten,' Queen Mab replied. 'Improve your mind.' ”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“Everything was perfectly healthy and normal here in Denial Land.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“If we have never had the experience of taking our commonplace religious shoes off our commonplace religious feet, and getting rid of all the undue familiarity with which we approach God, it is questionable whether we have ever stood in his presence.”
― Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest: Selections for Everyday

“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
― Oscar Wilde

“When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him.”
― Oswald Chambers