Tormi > Tormi's Quotes

“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”
― Scott Adams

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto”
― Scott Adams

“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”
― Scott Adams

“The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.”
― Scott Adams

“When did ignorance become a point of view?”
― Scott Adams

“I get mail; therefore I am.”
― Scott Adams

“The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to
think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy.
- Wally's Keynote Speech
”
― Scott Adams

“Theory of Evolution (Summary)

First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.”
― Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions

“Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there”
― Scott Adams

“If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.”
― Scott Adams

“The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.”
― Scott Adams, Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

“Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.”
― Scott Adams

“I should have written that down.
- Dilbert”
― Scott Adams

“If you’re going to create, create a lot. Creativity is not like playing the slot machines, where failure to win means you go home broke. With creativity, if you don’t win, you’re usually no worse off than if you hadn’t played.”
― Scott Adams

“The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.”
― Scott Adams

“Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill.” - Wally”
― Scott Adams

“Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.”
― Scott Adams

“How can one part be more important if each part is completely necessary?”
― Scott Adams, God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

“Dogbert to Dilbert
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?”
― Scott Adams

“How did people steal before computers? - Dogbert”
― Scott Adams

“Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots.”
― Scott Adams

“Losers have goals. Winners have systems.”
― Scott Adams