Quotes - Pam Marks (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 139

#1

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

tags: life, navigation

39278 likes

#2

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.”
― Gilda Radner

tags: ambiguity, life, stories, uncertainty, unpredictability

9983 likes

#3

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6730 likes

#4

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld

tags: books, funny

4021 likes

#5

“Don't be so humble - you are not that great.”
― Golda Meir

tags: funny, golda, meir, true

3533 likes

#6

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

tags: funny

6425 likes

#7

“What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.”
― Gena Showalter, Oh My Goth

tags: funny, life

2015 likes

#8

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guiswite

tags: eyes, funny, lemons

5194 likes

#9

“CONFESSION NO. 18 Girls just want to have fun…and live to tell about it the next day.”
― Ronda Thompson, Confessions of a Werewolf Supermodel

tags: funny

61 likes

#10

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
― Dave Barry

tags: funny, humour, jokes

543 likes

#11

“If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads.”
― Devon Sampson

tags: funny, intelligent-design

81 likes

#12

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. ”
― Wendell Johnson

tags: advice, funny

432 likes

#13

“Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing.”
― Peyton Manning

tags: football, funny, peyton-manning

440 likes

#14

“If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.”
― David Cook

612 likes

#15

“If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
― Lawrence Ferlinghetti

tags: beatnik, cynical, funny, humour

2883 likes

#16

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
― Sam Levenson

tags: death, die, elevator, funny, heaven, humor, sam-levenson

202 likes

#17

“Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.”
― Alice Walker, Home Girls: A Black Feminist Anthology

tags: alice-walker, death, funny, life, peaches

74 likes

#18

“gray hair is gods graffiti”
― Bill Cosby

154 likes

#20

“Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”
― Mae West

tags: funny

1093 likes

#21

“WHAT DO WE WANT?! PATIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! NOW!”
― Al Franken

tags: funny

79 likes

#22

“She was hearing the words. They just weren't registering on her Richter scale of sanity.”
― Dakota Cassidy, The Accidental Werewolf

tags: funny, hearing, humor, insanity, richter-scale

62 likes

#23

“I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

tags: funny, humor

112 likes

#24

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

tags: alcohol, funny, humor, laugh, warning-labels

855 likes

#25