Ivy > Ivy's Quotes

“Monkeys can't talk, stupid!”
― Jeff Kinney, Rodrick Rules

“Dear Aunt Loretta,
Thank you so much for the awesome pants!
How did you know I wanted that for Christmas?
I love the way the pants look on my legs!
All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants.
Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever!
Sincerely, Greg”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“The best person I know is Myself.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.”
― Jeff Kinney, Dog Days

“Zoo-Wee Mama!”
― Jeff Kinney

“I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Last Straw

“There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.”
― Jeff Kinney, The Last Straw

“You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“YO MOMMA”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“that if you don't read nobody does”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why
is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says
people need to shave twice a day.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“كل ما قالته لي هو أن أحاول فعل الصواب لأن خياراتنا هي التي تحدد من نكون”
― جيف كيني, مذكرات طالب

“I got to give mom credit for how she handled it.She didn't try to pry and get all the details. All she said was that I should try to do "the right thing" because it's our choices that make us who we are. I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“I just hope someone doesn't start the Cheese Touch up again, because I don't need that kind of stress in my life any more.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“And if you don't spend every second outdoors, people think there's someting wrong with you.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid