Catherine > Catherine's Quotes

“There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer them, or turn them into literature.”
― Mark Twain

“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
― Mark Twain

“Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”
― Mark Twain

“I do not like work even when someone else is doing it.”
― Mark Twain

“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.”
― Mark Twain, Speeches

“Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”
― Mark Twain

“The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.”
― Mark Twain

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.”
― Mark Twain

“Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.”
― Mark Twain

“I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel they have not said enough.”
― Mark Twain

“If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility”
― Mark Twain

“If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.”
― Mark Twain

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.”
― Mark Twain

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
― Mark Twain

“At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen.”
― Mark Twain, Mark Twain in Hawaii: Roughing It in the Sandwich Islands: Hawaii in the 1860s

“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”
― Mark Twain

“Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson and Other Tales

“Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
― mark twain

“What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is lead in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, and every day, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, (which are but the mute articulation of his feelings,) not those other things are his history. His acts and his words are merely the visible thin crust of his world, with its scattered snow summits and its vacant wastes of water-and they are so trifling a part of his bulk! a mere skin enveloping it. The mass of him is hidden-it and its volcanic fires that toss and boil, and never rest, night nor day. These are his life, and they are not written, and cannot be written.”
― Mark Twain, The Autobiography of Mark Twain

“Are you an American? No, I am not an American. I am the American.”
― Mark Twain

“I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.”
― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

“Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.”
― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“In my case, I was not frightened in the least bit at the thought that I might live because I was certain, quite certain, that I was already dead. ”
― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

“It takes 3 girls to tow always; two to hold the rope, and the other one runs round and round, and giggles.”
― Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat

“It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.”
― Jerome K. Jerome, Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

“If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest; and if you can do with a little, ask for a great deal. Because if you don't you won't get any.”
― Jerome K. Jerome, Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

“If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.”
― Oscar Wilde

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”
― oscar wilde