Mike > Mike's Quotes

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#1

“Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.”
― Dylan Moran

tags: humour

43 likes

#2

“In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”
― Elwood P. Dowd

tags: from-harvey-by-mary-chase

57 likes

#3

“He had already learned there was only one day at a time and that is was always the day you were in. It would be today until it was tonight and tomorrow would be today again. This was the main thing he had learned so far.”
― Ernest Hemingway, The Nick Adams Stories

4 likes

#4

“He looked earnestly at me, as if that was important to me.”
― Raymond Chandler

tags: funny-and-random

0 likes

#5

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
― Will Rogers

tags: afterlife, death, dogs, heaven

1876 likes

#6

“I grow old...I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk along the beach.
I have the heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think they will sing to me.”
― T.S. Eliot

tags: prufrock

3 likes

#7

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor

37989 likes

#8

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
― Mark Twain

tags: knowledge, wisdom

29 likes

#9

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

tags: adventure, death, life

5806 likes

#10

“If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.”
― Bertrand Russell

322 likes

#11

“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”
― Charles Bukowski

tags: atheism, religion

8906 likes

#12

“All thinking men are atheists.”
― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

tags: atheism, inspirational

2624 likes

#13

“The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. These subtilised interpretations are highly manifold according to their nature and have almost nothing to do with the original text. For me the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: atheism, belief, myths, superstition, weakness

18 likes

#14

“Radical Muslims fly planes into buildings. Radical Christians kill abortion doctors. Radical Atheists write books.”
― Hemant Mehta

tags: 9-11, abortion, atheism, books, christian, christianity, ideals, ideology, islam, muslim, radical, radicalism, religion

36 likes

#15

“God is an ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance.”
― Neil DeGrasse Tyson

tags: atheism, philosophy, religion, science, skepticism

240 likes

#16

“Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: afterlife, atheism, humanism, secularism

2183 likes

#17

“Number three: Stay away from the church. In the battle over science vs. religion, science offers credible evidence for all the serious claims it makes. The church says, 'Oh, it’s right here in this book, see? The one written by people who thought the sun was magic?' I for one would like to see some proof that there is a God. And if you say 'a baby’s smile' I’m going to kick you right in the stomach.
-Stewie”
― Seth Mcfarlane

tags: atheism, evidence, magic, proof, science

7 likes

#18

“I am an Agnostic because I am not afraid to think. I am not afraid of any god in the universe who would send me or any other man or woman to hell. If there were such a being, he would not be a god; he would be a devil.”
― Clarence Darrow

tags: agnostic, agnosticism, atheism, devil, evil, fear, hell, think, universe

50 likes

#19

“God doesn't send atheists to Hell -- there's no room with all the Christians down there.”
― Quentin R. Bufogle

tags: atheism, atheist, christianity, god, humorous-quotations, humorous-quotes, religion

5 likes

#20

“The bible and the church have been the greatest stumbling block in the way of women's emancipation.”
― Elizabeth Cady Stanton

tags: atheism, feminism

104 likes

#21

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”
― Brigham Young

tags: education, feminism, men, women

9271 likes

#22

“He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.”
― George Carlin

tags: equality, feminism, feminist, george-carlin, god, men-and-women, religion

1931 likes

#23

“From fanaticism to barbarism is only one step.”
― Denis Diderot, Essai sur le mérite et la vertu

tags: barbarism, fanaticism

158 likes

#24

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend”
― Albert Camus

tags: attributed-no-source, friends, friendship, misattributed-albert-camus

93521 likes

#25

“Quote words that affirm
all men and women are your
brothers and sisters.”
― Author-Poet Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams

tags: agape-love, angel-of-healing, conflict-resolution, ethics-and-moral-philosophy, global-village, haiku, haikus, hatred, human-rights, intolerance, love, middle-east-conflicts, national-poetry-month, peace-movement, philosophy, poem-in-your-pocket-day, poetry, racism, sacred-teachings, spirituality, unconditional-love, war, wisdom, world-poetry-day

73 likes

#26

“Over the years I've come to appreciate how animals enter our lives prepared to teach and far from being burdened by an inability to speak they have many different ways to communicate. It is up to us to listen more than hear, to look into more than past.”
― Nick Trout, Love Is the Best Medicine: What Two Dogs Taught One Veterinarian about Hope, Humility, and Everyday Miracles

tags: dogs, love, pets

64 likes

#27

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148360 likes

#28

“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
― Jimi Hendrix, The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Axis: Bold as Love | Guitar TAB Sheet Music Collection | Note-for-Note Transcriptions for Electric Guitar Players | Classic Psychedelic Rock Solos

tags: death, life

17165 likes

#29

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: death, inspirational

6379 likes

#30

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
― Anne Frank, Anne Frank's Tales from the Secret Annex: A Collection of Her Short Stories, Fables, and Lesser-Known Writings

tags: activism, life, optimism, philosophy, world

13373 likes

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