Quotes - Julian (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 303

#1

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21431 likes

#2

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10161 likes

#3

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12933 likes

#4

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6724 likes

#5

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: cats, humor, life

5174 likes

#6

“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: fantasy, humor, imagination, literature, stories

6659 likes

#7

“It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett

3097 likes

#8

“I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.”
― Terry Pratchett

2214 likes

#9

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: humor, metaphysics, physics, science

3506 likes

#10

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: humor, life

3609 likes

#11

“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

tags: absurd, humor, interrogation, police

1974 likes

#12

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

2161 likes

#13

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

tags: books, humor

2609 likes

#14

“If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.”
― Terry Pratchett

2973 likes

#15

“Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

tags: full, hat, pratchett, sky, terry

1516 likes

#16

“A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.”
― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

tags: bookshop, bookstore, discworld, read, reading

1488 likes

#17

“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

tags: erotic, kinky, suggestive

1503 likes

#18

“I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

tags: cats, death, life

3629 likes

#19

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

tags: discworld, humor, humour, teaching

1733 likes

#20

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

tags: adventure, change, discworld, growth, travel

6328 likes

#21

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: death, humor

3475 likes

#22

“There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.”
― Terry Pratchett

1977 likes

#23

“The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
― Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

tags: humor, life, movies

1275 likes

#24

“He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

tags: death, humor

1254 likes

#25

“And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

2186 likes

#26

“His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

1037 likes

#27

“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

1405 likes

#28

“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

tags: gods, humour, religion, stupidity

1276 likes

#29

“This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: humor, life

826 likes

#30

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

3513 likes

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